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Post by countyfan on Jun 10, 2019 11:24:15 GMT
I went to the doctor yesterday and told him that I have a regular bowel movement at 8 o’clock every morning.
He said...So what’s wrong with that?
I told him that I don’t wake up until 8.30!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 19, 2019 8:38:56 GMT
Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf.
I haven't heard from him since.
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Post by countyfan on Jun 24, 2019 14:03:47 GMT
A pun walks in to a bar, opens fire and kills 10 people.
pun in ten dead
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Post by another_ruined_saturday on Jun 24, 2019 19:20:10 GMT
that's very good CF.
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Post by Epworth Hatter on Jun 27, 2019 9:23:48 GMT
Detective: Billy, who started the fire?" Billy Joel: "Well we didn't" Detective: Who's we?" Billy Joel: *takes deep breath*
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Post by another_ruined_saturday on Jun 27, 2019 19:30:45 GMT
lovely stuff eps...
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Post by gazz on Jun 27, 2019 20:50:51 GMT
Indeed! Superb, Eps!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2019 2:45:14 GMT
My missus gets upset when I mess with her red wine.
I've just added lemonade and fruit, now she's angrier than ever.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2019 7:42:09 GMT
To celebrate our silver wedding anniversary I got a map of the world, gave my wife a dart, and said we'd go wherever the dart lands.
I'm happy to announce that in August we'll be spending a wonderful 2 weeks by the f***ing skirting board!
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Post by gazz on Jul 16, 2019 5:56:02 GMT
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 29, 2019 13:21:51 GMT
Attachments:
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Bar Jokes
Jul 29, 2019 18:32:59 GMT
via mobile
Post by gazz on Jul 29, 2019 18:32:59 GMT
That's got to be a Viz 'Top Tip'!
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Post by Epworth Hatter on Aug 3, 2019 5:42:48 GMT
BREAKING: A thesaurus belonging to Elton John has been stolen. The singer commented, "It's sad. So sad. It's a sad, sad situation."
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Post by Epworth Hatter on Aug 4, 2019 14:08:02 GMT
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Post by countyfan on Aug 9, 2019 10:30:13 GMT
Why do you spell "Dark" with a K and not a C??
Because you can't C in the dark!
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