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Post by sandbachhatter on Aug 4, 2020 19:46:40 GMT
My mate was going to a fancy dress party and said he was planning to go as an Italian island.
I said don't be Sicily.
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Post by bringbacklenwhite on Aug 5, 2020 8:24:32 GMT
Have you ever tried Blind Fold Archery ?
You don't know what you are missing !
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Post by archie on Aug 5, 2020 10:05:46 GMT
My mate has gone to fix Cat Stevens' caravan. Awning has broken.
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Post by bringbacklenwhite on Aug 5, 2020 11:20:45 GMT
Just walked by the factory that makes mirrors.
I could see myself working there.
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Post by bringbacklenwhite on Aug 5, 2020 15:52:51 GMT
I became really emotional at the petrol station this morning.
I was OK one minute..............and then I started filling up.
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Post by bringbacklenwhite on Aug 6, 2020 13:03:48 GMT
I have been banned from the National Scrabble Club.
They keep sending me threatening letters.
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Post by bringbacklenwhite on Aug 6, 2020 13:06:32 GMT
I've just joined a band called the Preventions.
We are much better than The Cure.
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Post by bringbacklenwhite on Aug 6, 2020 14:23:55 GMT
I have been banned from the National Scrabble Club. They keep sending me threatening letters. However , I am going to have words with them.
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Post by ceefer on Aug 6, 2020 16:03:08 GMT
I have been banned from the National Scrabble Club. They keep sending me threatening letters. However , I am going to have words with them. Hopefully not a long spell in jail
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Post by dudleyhatter on Aug 7, 2020 9:34:29 GMT
Is anyone else perturbed by Gazza's banana dance (and no, that's not a metaphor)? Just saw this in the first page of this thread. Yes I am!
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Post by bringbacklenwhite on Aug 7, 2020 9:44:42 GMT
I woke up in a sweat last night. I dreamt I was drowning in an ocean of orange juice.
Turns out it was a fanta-sea.
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Post by bringbacklenwhite on Aug 7, 2020 9:45:21 GMT
This is for the guy who nicked my trainers and hi-vis jacket...............
You can run but you can't hide !
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Post by bringbacklenwhite on Aug 14, 2020 17:58:21 GMT
I have just renewed my subscription to Sheepdog News Review.
They sent me a free pen !
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Post by another_ruined_saturday on Aug 14, 2020 20:29:45 GMT
dunno if we've had any of these before, but:
Went to a shop in Yorkshire and asked where I could find towels. I was given directions to a bird sanctuary.
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Post by another_ruined_saturday on Aug 14, 2020 20:29:59 GMT
Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels
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