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Post by another_ruined_saturday on Jan 16, 2014 1:20:27 GMT
douglas bader would be proud...
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Post by bringbacklenwhite on Jan 16, 2014 15:14:30 GMT
Oi,Oi.Oi,Oi !!!
What have I ever done to offend anyone ?
I do have a Douglas Bader shot at golf though. Good in the air, but no legs.
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Post by gazz on Jan 16, 2014 15:25:38 GMT
Oi,Oi.Oi,Oi !!! What have I ever done to offend anyone ? I do have a Douglas Bader shot at golf though. Good in the air, but no legs.  |
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Post by hatter_in_macc on Jan 16, 2014 16:29:58 GMT
Excellent, Lennie  ! |
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Post by bringbacklenwhite on Jan 16, 2014 17:00:55 GMT
My least favourite shot is a "Denis Wise" -- one of those nasty little five footers !!
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Post by sandbachhatter on Jan 16, 2014 17:05:51 GMT
one of those nasty little five footers !! I've got one of the those, but it ain't a golf shot
EYYYYY OHHHHHH!
NB: this joke can either be referring to my enormous genitalia, or the wife, both of which are around 5 foot. That's the beauty of this punch line, it works in so many different ways. Thanks for reading.
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Post by Epworth Hatter OLD account on Jan 16, 2014 17:11:41 GMT
Sandy, that's a big circumference!
Another joke that works in so many different ways
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Post by sandbachhatter on Jan 16, 2014 17:15:45 GMT
Around 5 foot, not 5 foot around!
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Post by sandbachhatter on Jan 27, 2014 13:54:35 GMT
No 3 in a series of 423
A potential new client walked in last week. Here's how the conversation went:
Me: "Afternoon, how can I help?"
Him (no, not Hatter in Macc): "I've need to speak to a good Solicitor."
Me: "I'll see if I can find one, hang on.... nope, just me I'm afraid."
Him: "What it is, I've got this bird, see..."
[my mind starts conjuring up images of the Dead Parrot sketch, but alas I quickly realise he means a different kind of bird]
Him: ".... and she's in Senegal. It's pretty serious now, and I think we're going to get married. I've never met her, like, but we chat a lot. Anyway, she's apparently the daughter of some rich king or something, and has $6M US that we can have when we're married but she needs to transfer it into my account..."
Me: "I'll stop you there. It's a scam"
Him (ignoring me): "... and she says that she needs $1,200 to sort out the bank transfer. She's got $600 from her friend who's a vicar and who is happy to marry us, but needs the other $600..."
Me: "It's a scam, don't get involved"
Him: "... and I need to work out how to get it to her. Is it safe to do a bank transfer? I have all her details."
Me: "It. Is. A. Scam. Do NOT get involved."
Him: "I've already agreed to do it. I don't want to let her down."
Me: "You won't be. She probably doesn't even exist and even if she does she's not going to marry you."
Him: "But we're in love."
Me: "Sorry, you may be. But she isn't."
Him: "What if it's not a scam?"
Me: "I can assure you it is."
Him: "But what if it's not?"
[10 minutes or so later]
Me: "I can't say this any other way or any more clearly. It's a scam."
Him: "Ok, then. Maybe it's a scam. I'll have a think about it."
The sad thing is, there are people like this chap who are so desperate for love that they'll fall for it, no matter how ridiculous those e-mails are. I bet he's bought Viagra from that cheap online Canadian pharmacy that keep contacting me too...
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Post by sirroger on Jan 27, 2014 14:12:27 GMT
Now that's strange, Sandy. I had an email from that Canadian pharmacy and when I responded (just out of curiosity of course) I told them it would be later, as I was a bit hard up.
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Post by sandbachhatter on Jan 27, 2014 14:19:22 GMT
I think a lot of people respond the same way, Rog, so you might have some stiff competition.
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!
