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Post by sandbachhatter on Nov 30, 2015 10:16:19 GMT
Morning grumblers.
This week's host is Gazza.....
The Oscars
An annual American back-slapping ceremony that gives multi-milionaires the chance to fake delight and appreciation at receiving 13 and a half inches of Gold-plated alloy, and subjecting the audience to the biggest load of phoney tosh 'acceptance' speech crap known to man. Added to this the endless photos on the 'red carpet' showing off their new clobber, which more often than not cost more than you or I earn in a year, not to mention the 'selfies' craze that now seems to have hit these award ceremonies.
As if having Millions in the bank, houses bigger than the streets we live in and a small fleet of supercars for each week of the year isn't enough, they think it's 'entertaining' for joe public to sit in their humble living rooms watching these precious, privileged few fawning all over each other and trying desperately to get their veneer-filled, botox-riddled gobs on camera, while patronising us all with faux-gratitude for making their movie a success.
So-called 'experts' get paid for discussing these 'stars' and their 'estimated worth' on a daily-basis, who cares? Most of these people wouldn't split a room of fresh air with the likes of us, so PLEASE get rid of this obscenity once and for all, and please for the love of god get some therapy for the intelectually bankrupt, wannabe orange gobs who seem to be fascinated by it all.
Online gambling (Yes 'Gambling' is the key word here but the title begins with an 'O', and this is my turn, so suck it up!)
Everywhere you look now you see Online gambling site ads, apps and even TV programmes late at night trying to suck you into chucking your money away. At a time where many of us are having to pull our oars in and make the most of every penny, these betting companies are making it easier and easier for those struggling to make ends meet to get online and lose what little money they have. It's everywhere, you can't even watch a football match on Sky now without an advert at half-time trying to suck you into betting on the full-time score, or next goalscorer.
Gambling can be bad enough in itself, but it's easier to not get your coat on and travel to a bookies in the pi**ing down rain than it is to not launch a betting app. These companies are parasites, making flash adverts with catchy slogans like "tap tap BOOM" to suck the people in. I've got a better catchphrase for you, how about "tap tap BROKE"?
It is one of many things these days that needs regulating badly, but while there's far too much money to be made from them you'll never see anything being done to stop it.
Old father time
I was struggling to think of another 'O', and started to get frustrated with my brain for not being able to deliver a suitable third choice, when the reason for my frustration suddenly dawned on me - I'm getting old! Some of you will be a lot younger than me (I'm 47 at the end of next month), so this one will no doubt be lost on you, but I am sure (nay, praying) I'm not alone on here with this!
Since turning 40, I started to notice a deterioration in many things, not least my ability to read things like magazine articles (not mucky magazines, Sandy!), the news ticker on Sky sports news and BBC news programmes etc, and in particular my mobile phone. After a few years of holding things up close and then further away in order to be able to read them properly (thinking that it was something to do with my arms!), I finally realised that I may need reading glasses - and lo and behold, I was right!
Now, you'd think everything had stopped there, but oh no, Old Father Time was enjoying himself too much, and has now (as if taking my hair in my late twenties wasn't punishment enough) started to mess with my knee joints, which were not in the best condition in the first place through playing football. I am now struggling to get out of bed in the morning (and evenings as I also work nights) without first giving them a rub to warm them up, and they cause me no end of grief when having to stand for the best part of 12 hours at work!
As if that's not bad enough, my feet have felt left out and decided they want a piece of the action too, and have now started to join in on this merciless ambush of pain! It hasn't stopped there either, shoulder pain has started to kick in now if I spend too much time sleeping on one side, and I am now having to ease my legs straight in the mornings before I even contemplate getting out of bed, as my knees have started seizing up if I sleep for too long with my legs bent. I don't know whether to start taking multi-vitamins, or have a bloody timer by the bed and use it like I'm on a bloody sunbed, to ensure I wake up every half hour to turn over and straighten my knees!
Getting older is seriously not pleasant at all. There's the difficulty keeping my weight down, the time it takes me to recover from work is increasing by the week, the tinnitus I'm now developing that really creases me when I have a headache...
I could go on, but I don't want to start tailing off like Abe Simpson with a story that doesn't go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em... "Give me five bees for a quarter", you'd say.
Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones............
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Post by sandbachhatter on Nov 30, 2015 10:18:46 GMT
Online gambling for me. I've (fortunately) never got involved with it - or any real gambling for that matter - but I can see how it could easily become addictive and destroy families. Be gone.
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Post by countyfan on Nov 30, 2015 10:39:50 GMT
Online gambling for me too. There is only one winner when it comes to gambling and thats the book makers. Even when someone wins they put it back on to try and win more and this keeps happening until they lose!! And I'm sick to the back teeth with every other TV advert being for a gambling app.
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Post by countybenno on Nov 30, 2015 12:55:25 GMT
This is a tough one this week, not really in to films so the Oscars have no significance to me, I don't do online gambling, but do like 50p on football once a week so for me to put online gambling in would make me a bit of a hypocrite I think, now old father time I totally agree with you Gazza, I turned 40 this year and since then my knees, elbows back are all starting to creek, the memory seems to be on it's was as well, so for me it has to be bugger what were the choices again!!!!, oh yes, old father time.
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Post by hatter_in_macc on Nov 30, 2015 13:10:04 GMT
If only you had included Onions, Gaz-man. They are truly the work of the foodie-devil! I don't mind The Oscars. They do at least have a history and some kudos attached to them - unlike the various imitation awards that seek to follow in their wake, while being, in reality, consolation prizes for z-listers. Old Father Time is a tricky one - but all the time I allegedly keep looking young enough to don the gloves for Crystal Palace, I can't complain...  So, Online Gambling to go, please. I have no direct experience of it, and nor do any of my nearest and dearest, thank Heaven. But its potential damage is untold, and the way in which it is marketed stinks. Be away with you... |
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Post by sandbachhatter on Nov 30, 2015 13:13:42 GMT
Onions are delicious. Here's a trick to stop you from crying when you slice them - don't form an emotional attachment.
Anyway, after the events of last week (which may well see me out of a job come next April), I was hoping Gazza might have opted for Osbourne, George.
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Post by archie on Nov 30, 2015 14:06:46 GMT
Had it been Old Spice rather than Old Father Time I'd have been tempted. I've experienced both and know which I dislike more.
Had it been On-line Gaming rather than On-line Gambling I might have been tempted because the thought of playing bingo, poker and other casino games against a machine seems to me bizarre. To condemn on-line gambling in its entirety is so much against my way of life that I really have to reject that notion. Nearly all on-line gambling these days is done on a debit basis so you have to take the decision to put money into an account before you even consider having a bet. Besides, if I didn't gamble on-line, I probably wouldn't have given you all that winning bet on the Melbourne Cup.
So, by a process of elimination, it's the Oscars. Having not been to a cinema for over 10 years pretty much sums up my interest in the goings on in northern Los Angeles.
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Post by archie on Nov 30, 2015 14:28:35 GMT
Of course, banning OF Time would mean the end of Doctor Who so not all bad I suppose.
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Post by bigfudge on Nov 30, 2015 14:47:02 GMT
Online gambling for me, they're up there with payday loan companies in terms of their lack of morals and compassion for people.
Great shout on Old Father Time though, you thought going bald in your late 20s was bad! I'm only 25 and I've had a massive bald spot for about 5 years now! My head is about the only part of my body that can't grow hair as well! This is now becoming me hating people with hair so I'll stop!
Great suggestions Gazman! Worthy winners the lot of them!
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Post by sandbachhatter on Nov 30, 2015 15:47:06 GMT
My head is about the only part of my body that can't grow hair as well! <vomits into bin under the desk> |
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Post by Epworth Hatter on Nov 30, 2015 17:15:43 GMT
Good list, gazza.
I have no interest in the Oscars. In fact, an Oscar or nomination is usually an indication that I should avoid the film. The last Oscar film I saw as Birdman and it was truly awful.
Old Father Time is a great shout. I turn 40 next year and am feeling my age. It is definitely true that youth is wasted on the young.
It's got to be on-line gambling for me. I hate gambling in all forms. I bought a lottery ticket the very first week it ran in 1994. That still remains my only lottery ticket. Gambling is a pointless activity that will leave you penniless. I can think of no redeeming feature, at all. If a sport isn't interesting enough in it's own right, without the addition of betting, then it is a poor sport. It's why I detest horse racing - it only exists because of betting. Every other sport can quite happily carry on without betting; take betting away from the GGs and it ceases to exist. Online gambling is even worse (if such a thing were possible). As gazza pointed out, it makes it so easy to just throw money away. It's got to go in the bin.
The only time I have placed a bet was when I noticed on a Bookie's window: Open Sunday 11-2. I put a tenner on that. Well, he was open last Sunday...
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Post by Deleted on Nov 30, 2015 18:01:04 GMT
The only time I have placed a bet was when I noticed on a Bookie's window: Open Sunday 11-2. I put a tenner on that. Well, he was open last Sunday... Brilliant! I think I'll also be going for online gambling. I think the stuff like online bingo/poker/roulette is the worst, as at least playing these games in a casino or bingo hall you can see the physical balls/cards coming up. I would be very distrustful of the algorithms these websites use to dictate the winners/losers. To me it looks like a complete fix. With a football result or a first goalscorer etc. there is a degree of an educated guess about it (same with horses) and while people can lose a lot of money, at least the outcomes aren't fixed. Personally, I don't bet online, however I do live with a few lads that like (or liked) to. One of them (incidentally for this thread called Oscar) used to do it quite heavily, however one night we were sat around watching the football and with the aid of his online banking statement figured he was down about £400 for the last 12 months, which as a student is a lot of money. I think that was a bit of a wake up call for him as he hasn't done anything since we came back to uni in September, we found it pretty funny at the time but looking back it highlights just how easy it can be for people to get sucked in - even if they wouldn't appear to have a heavy propensity to gamble. I'll have a few quid on the national every year (by physically going into the bookies), I used to have the very occasional accumulator on the football when I was at my uncles, and I do like a night at the casino every now and then, but that's about it. Personally I think you have to treat gambling as a game. If you gamble hoping to see returns you're going to have a bad time, if I go out to the casino I'll say I've got £30 for betting, if I lose then I would've just spend that on an alternative Friday night but at least it's a different kind of night out and I'll enjoy it with my mates. Incidentally I seem to have quite good luck at casinos as I have only left down once in my life! |
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Post by bringbacklenwhite on Nov 30, 2015 19:10:44 GMT
Oscars are OK (as long as the Brits are winning). I just ignore them otherwise.
Old Age is brilliant, as the alternative is too much to bear thinking about. New lease of life since suffering my cardiac hiccup. Focuses the mind on what is important in the world, health, family, friends and County Heaven !
So it has to be the shark infested waters of on-line gambling (and the bingo sites are the worst -soft gambling easy targets). Preying on the vulnerable in society hoping that they will find a need to convert little cash into no cash.
Now take care (please) when the fun stops -stop !! Yes, it's that easy, isn't it.
No contest.
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Post by gazz on Nov 30, 2015 19:27:43 GMT
Old Age is brilliant, as the alternative is too much to bear thinking about. New lease of life since suffering my cardiac hiccup. Focuses the mind on what is important in the world Well said, Sir Leonard! So it has to be the shark infested waters of on-line gambling (and the bingo sites are the worst -soft gambling easy targets). Preying on the vulnerable in society hoping that they will find a need to convert little cash into no cash. Now take care (please) when the fun stops -stop !! Yes, it's that easy, isn't it. And  |
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Post by another_ruined_saturday on Nov 30, 2015 19:32:43 GMT
great line that eps!
good choices gazz. one of the most galling things about awards ceremonies is the slebs all getting swag bags of luxury items. of course it's marketing (although am i really likely to buy a rose gold cartier just because zac efron's got one?), but it's part of a grotesque circle of privilege. i quite like films though! i saw 'in bruges' and 'rush' for the first time last week and enjoyed them both. the oscars are only on the very edges of my film-consciousness though, so i can survive in a world with that annual backslapping bonanza.
i find online gambling a bit distasteful. a bit wonga. after not bothering initially for a long while, i have done the lottery for a good few years though. it's nice to have little daydreams about buying EP back for the club, roofing the railway end, etc. i often didn't check the tickets though so started doing it online. that's better because you get an email if you've won something. the downside was that the subject line used to be "exciting news about your ticket", and on logging in, i'd find i'd won £3.52 on the euromillions...after not breathing for two minutes while i brought the site up. i've pulled right back on the whole thing though since it changed again recently. anyway, the lottery is a dream facilitator (even though the reality is f*** all), while gambling to the point of not being able to pay your utility bills, or gambling in order to pay your utility bills is properly grim.
two strong contenders, but i have to go for old father time. i'm 45 and i'll be needing a bungalow in about ten minutes. over the last dozen years, i have gone to seed, grown into a gnarled tree from a fairytale horror-forest, and rotted from the ground up. getting old is proper b*ll*cks.
reading eps' bit about youth being wasted on the young reminded me that i love this, off pitchfork (bizarrely) from an old animal collective review about their song 'kids on holiday', which turns the notion around on itself:
"...it occurs to me that youth isn't always wasted on the young. This is an old cliché, about how kids can never really appreciate the finer aspects of immaturity. in fact, it's their immaturity and naiveté that all the gray adults crave like zombies. It's a child's lack of self-conscience and "common sense" that make them holy, just as it's an adult's knowledge of their own mortality that makes them a little bit dead. However, even if the sickly, aching adults might long for days spent wasting precious time and forgetting precious lessons, most of them wouldn't turn back the clock if given the chance. Youth isn't wasted on the young at all, because only kids on holiday could afford to leave their hearts exposed for so long, to sing as loudly and to take so much for granted."
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