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Post by another_ruined_saturday on Jul 30, 2014 21:49:50 GMT
oh leonard...how did you get by in the parks and bushes back when it was illegal?!?
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Post by bigfudge on Jul 30, 2014 22:37:02 GMT
In big fudges big weather round-up.
Stockport will receive glorious sunshine from the heavenly being that shines down upon us whereas Manchester will rain all day, every day for as long as we allow City to keep winning.
Moving down South we believe that a thick cloud of smug has formed above London. We're not sure how it's happened or what is being done about it but it appears that London is seriously suffering from it!
In Brighton the annual gay pride parade seems to have experienced unusual weather as it is in fact raining men. We caught up with one particularly fabulous pedestrian to get his thoughts on the matter "Hallelujah" was all he had to seemed have to say.
Finally we close off in Burnley where the gates of hell seem to have opened in the sky and let forth the spawn of Satan and a lot of rain to run rampant in the streets, on further inspection it appears Turf Moor has just let out it's heavily dribbling fans.
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Post by hatter_in_macc on Jul 30, 2014 22:48:07 GMT
In Brighton the annual gay pride parade seems to have experienced unusual weather as it is in fact raining men. We caught up with one particularly fabulous pedestrian to get his thoughts on the matter "Hallelujah" was all he had to seemed have to say. Hey - I was only there visiting relatives!
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Post by bringbacklenwhite on Jul 31, 2014 8:07:43 GMT
oh leonard...how did you get by in the parks and bushes back when it was illegal?!? I kept well away from them, especially uncultivated bushes !!
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Post by sirroger on Jul 31, 2014 9:23:41 GMT
...Morning, Sports fans. In a packed programe ahead we take an depth look at the World of Sport:
Fencing
A major scandal has erupted overnight, as the finals get underway. Several of the leading contenders have allegedly been caught using the banned substance, creosote. More news on this as we get it.
Diving
It's been confirmed that european champion Arjen Robben will defend his title in France in two years time.
Canoeing
Sad news has reached us that several up and coming stars are no longer continuing in the sport. "It's just not worth it, am constantly up s*** creek without a paddle" declared one dejected canoeist.
Golf
A little birdie tells me Paul McGinley has invited Tom Watson and his team for tee, prior to the Ryder Cup in September. I really don't know what that's fore. More news as we get it.
Swimming
Trouble broke out at the pool last night at the mixed breaststroke event. The police arrived and went straight in at the deep end.
Darts
Reports of a rift between Phil Taylor & Michael Van Gerwin has been dismissed as Taylor outlined "that's just a load of bull"
Cricket
Great to see England's performance against India in the Test match. Definitley a much better Ballance.
Well that's it from 'Roaming Roger'for today.
Thanks for reading, guys.
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Post by bigfudge on Jul 31, 2014 10:29:22 GMT
Excellent Rog!
Loved the diving bit, superb!
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Post by bringbacklenwhite on Jul 31, 2014 10:36:01 GMT
As with all quality supplements I bring you the County Heaven Chronicle Beach List of Sports Book Title you MUST take on holiday with you.
"The Art of Sporting Diplomacy" by Usain Bolt (How to behaviour appropriately at a small time tin-pot tournament)
"You Can't Polish a Turd, But You Can Roll It In Glitter" by Alan Lord. (Stockport County manager tells it all)
"The Little Coffee Shop of Younes Kaboul" by Younis Kaboul (how a a french football overcame local traditions and religious prejudice in North London)
"The Hibbert" by JRR Tolkien. (one man's quest to score a goal before he retires after fighting Orcs, Dwarves, Elfs, Shape-changers and other Scouse beings on Merseyside.
"Frain-Spotting" by Irvine Welsh. (Tells of his time on the Stockport County Terraces looking for his favourite player)
"Arsing A Round with Lennie". by Bringbacklenwhite (A failed golfer shares his few highs and subterranean lows on the golf courses of England)
"Controlling One's Natural Urges" by Paul Gascoigne (Life style hints from England's favourite black sheep)
"Alice's Adventures in Sunderland" by Charles Dickens (A young girl falls down a rabbit hole and meets an array of fantastic characters including Gus Poyet, Paulo De Canio and Len Shackleton plus a myriad of Man Utd cast offs)
"Three Men in a Kevin-Prince Boateng" by Jerome K Jerome (from the author with parents who couldn't be bothered with deciding on a christian name for him, a story about a much travelled German footballer and his two mate and a dog)
"Catch 22" by Joseph Heller (The reminiscences of a football league goalkeeper about the only saves he made during his long career - to be followed up by Missed 22, the goals conceded during a bad weekend "at the office")
"Tinkering Taylor, Told You, Cry" by Gordon Taylor. (The PFA leader tells of his life in a variety of roles including at times defending the indefensible)
"Schindler's pi**ed" by Kevin Schindler. (A German footballer's take on the Munich Beer Festival)
"The Dirk Kuyt Runner" by Khalad Hosseini (Dutch footballer meets confrontation in Kabul and has to leg it)
"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the LA Galaxy" by David Beckham (tells of his road trip to America and his wife's love of money)
"Les Miserables" by County Heaven Supporters (a collection of stories about supporting stockport County)
"The Grapes of Raith Rovers" by John Steinbeck (One Oklahoma family driven from the American dustbowl move to Scotland and open a Wine Merchants)
"Where the wild Things Arsenal" by Maurice Sendak (Max becomes a wolf for the night and joins Mr Wenger on a journey into the unknown)
That should keep you going for a few days. More to follow in the next edition.
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Post by bigfudge on Jul 31, 2014 10:57:20 GMT
Excellent Len!
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Post by sandbachhatter on Jul 31, 2014 11:54:41 GMT
And a little nod to the quiz as well?! See if you can spot it folks...
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