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Post by sandbachhatter on Aug 17, 2015 7:41:06 GMT
Morning everyone,
Next up is Dudley, with three things beginning with B that he would like to nominate to go into the vault. Over to Duds:
Beer I like a good pint as much as the next fella.
However look at the evil it causes.
Our cities on a Friday and Saturday night are a scary and dangerous place to be.
Our health service is straining with the instant impact of extreme consumption every week, in addition to the long term effects of drinking such as liver failure.
More importantly, the beer snobs who say that they can tell the difference between seven hundred different types of beer. They then look at you so far down their nose that you can count their nasal hairs (they usually have many) when you suggest that all you want is a cold one. Just drink, get drunk and bore off.
We need to remove beer from these people. Do it now!
Brazil
So what has everyone's favourite samba nation done wrong?
Their appealing treatment of street kids? Prodigious clearance of the Amazon rainforest destroying species that we didn't even know about? Appalling World Cup stadia construction, organisation and epic levels of Blatteresque bribery? One year to the Olympics and stadia not even built yet? No, they have stolen our right as the guardians of football. It is our sport.
They deserve to be gone! Send them to CHIVE now!
Bananas
Dangerous skin, home of many comedy moments, discarded by villainous people. However my problem is how people treat them... some people like to eat them virtually green! Are you stupid? Others eat them when they are still firm. NO NO NO. Let them mellow, turn a bit brown, get a bit squishy. This is when the shops start to bag them up and sell them off cheap. BUY BUY BUY. So the worlds most mis-eaten food, badly stored, wrongly eaten - try it biting sideways. Freeze the over ripe ones to make sorbet, make a banana loaf. Never waste them!
These people do not deserve bananas. Take them away from them now!
Thanks Dudders. The choice, as they say, is yours...
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Post by sandbachhatter on Aug 17, 2015 7:43:50 GMT
I'll start us off by voting for bananas.
Beer, as the great Homer Simpson says "is the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems". I can't vote for beer.
Similarly, I agree with everything Duds says about Brazil, but I'm relatively ignorant about it as a country, and although I would perhaps have voted for this on the strength of Duds' argument, I cannot look past...
Bananas. For very different reasons to our host, namely that I can't stand them, I'm voting for bananas. They're about the only fruit I cannot eat. Apparently my mum used to love them, until she got pregnant with me and then they would make her violently ill (still do), so perhaps my hatred of them stems from that.
In any event, bananas get my vote.
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Post by hatter_in_macc on Aug 17, 2015 8:59:47 GMT
We really must be brothers from another mother, then, Sandy. Bananas are one of my top three foods (along with mushrooms and prawns, for the benefit of those Heaveners in charge for Weeks M and P...)!
I am rather persuaded by Duddders' arguments for consigning the two other B-things - each of which I previously thought I quite liked! But a world without beer? Unthinkable!
Brazil, on the other hand...
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Post by sandbachhatter on Aug 17, 2015 9:39:59 GMT
Mushrooms and prawns are fine (although they wouldn't necessarily feature in my top 3 foods - oooh, thread idea?!) but bananas are evil. As is tuna (hint for week T, whoever has it!)
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Post by gazz on Aug 17, 2015 10:52:39 GMT
Beer.
I can take it or leave it, and anyone who tells me I'm boring for not wanting a drink, I think they're the ones with the problem, not me.
The problems highlighted by Duds regarding the pressure put on our crumbing health service by drinking alone are reason enough. I've seen and known people destroyed by drink, it causes pain and misery and destroys family life.
I for one wouldn't complain if beer, and indeed alcoholic drinks in general disappeared forever.
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Post by countyfan on Aug 17, 2015 13:00:45 GMT
I love beer, I love bananas so it's Brazil for me.
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Post by archie on Aug 17, 2015 13:41:43 GMT
I love beer, I love bananas so it's Brazil for me. Ditto. |
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Post by bigfudge on Aug 17, 2015 13:53:35 GMT
Brazil...firstly for the reasons Duds said but also for the notion that 'football means more to them'...absolute b*llocks it means no more to a Brazillian than it does to and Englishman or an Italian or a Frenchman or basically any football fan in the world!
Self righteous a*seholes!
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Post by sandbachhatter on Aug 17, 2015 14:17:18 GMT
Have bananas ever given us beach volleyball or lady-garden topiary though?
No further questions your honour.
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Post by gazz on Aug 17, 2015 14:27:17 GMT
In some parts of Brazil, sport is all they have. It's their only escape, and indeed for some their only hope of a better life hinges on making a career in sport.
You've only got to watch the 1991 Brazilian Grand Prix, when Senna had to negotiate the last two laps stuck in 6th gear to see what it meant to him and the Brazilian fans. He was in agony, physically exhausted, but he knew what it meant to those fans. In spite of the immense pain he was feeling on that podium he wanted to lift the Brazilian flag for them more than he wanted to lift the trophy, that one gesture was more important to him than his own personal triumph.
It's easy to forget the sh*t life they have out there sometimes, but they're not to blame for this preconception that they're the guardians of the beautiful game and Brazil is the home of football. You should lay the blame squarely at the feet of the international media for that.
Unfairly rough on Brazil in my opinion.
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Post by hatter_in_macc on Aug 17, 2015 15:13:15 GMT
Wouldn't disagree with you there, matey. It's just that Dudders has presented us with quite a difficult choice of items - none of which (in my view, anyway) stands out as being obviously terrible. Besides, there's no way that I'm gonna give up my 'nanas!  |
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Post by sandbachhatter on Aug 17, 2015 15:40:55 GMT
I honestly don't see the appeal Maccy. Why are you so keen on a slightly bent fruit?
Ohhhhhhhhhh.
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Post by gazz on Aug 17, 2015 15:44:44 GMT
Wouldn't disagree with you there, matey. It's just that Dudders has presented us with quite a difficult choice of items - none of which (in my view, anyway) stands out as being obviously terrible. Besides, there's no way that I'm gonna give up my 'nanas! Oh I know, matey, I was referring to Fudgie's comment regarding Brazilians. I know what he means regarding the hype etc, I just think it's unfair to blame the Brazilian people for it. |
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Post by archie on Aug 17, 2015 16:12:43 GMT
Ok, so who forgot to vote for Brazil? Only showing as 3 votes yet Maccy, Cf, Fudgie and I declared for them. Meanwhile, only Sandy declares for bananas yet that has 2 votes.
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Post by sandbachhatter on Aug 17, 2015 17:11:12 GMT
I swear I didn't vote twice!
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