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Post by another_ruined_saturday on Aug 14, 2020 20:31:00 GMT
My mate came second in a Winston Churchill look-alike competition. He was close, but no cigar
...i like this but i think i might have seen it as a groucho marx? joke before
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Post by Epworth Hatter on Aug 24, 2020 5:10:53 GMT
Just been stung by nettles. £125 for a signed Bergerac DVD.
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Post by bringbacklenwhite on Aug 29, 2020 15:52:55 GMT
My vet has told me about the latest book he is reading.
It's about an immortal dog.
He tells me that he can't put it down.
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Post by bringbacklenwhite on Aug 31, 2020 16:11:11 GMT
Sheepdogs have to stay indoors today.
It's a Ban Collie Day !
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Post by Epworth Hatter on Sept 3, 2020 17:38:33 GMT
COMPUTER: Enter a new password
ME: DaftPunk
COMPUTER: Sorry, password must be harder, better, faster, stronger
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Post by another_ruined_saturday on Sept 9, 2020 19:35:50 GMT
a woman in labour starts shouting: "shouldn't", "wouldn't", "couldn't", "didn't", "can't".
doctor tells her "don't worry - those are just contractions"
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Bar Jokes
Sept 9, 2020 20:01:21 GMT
via mobile
Post by Epworth Hatter on Sept 9, 2020 20:01:21 GMT
a woman in labour starts shouting: "shouldn't", "wouldn't", "couldn't", "didn't", "can't". doctor tells her "don't worry - those are just contractions" marvellous
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Post by Epworth Hatter on Sept 19, 2020 8:00:28 GMT
“Man cannot abide a sheet of paper that does not fit in a standard printer”
A4ism
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Post by sandbachhatter on Sept 19, 2020 8:24:33 GMT
I used to feel like a man trapped in the body of a woman.
Then I was born.
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Post by bringbacklenwhite on Nov 18, 2020 18:56:52 GMT
I have a Sooty and Sweep puppet for sale.
For £20 each you can take them off my hands.
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Post by Epworth Hatter on Nov 25, 2020 6:54:37 GMT
Accidentally just knocked a lady over in Dominos Pizza. Well, I say one...
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Post by archie on Dec 8, 2020 8:57:09 GMT
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Post by Epworth Hatter on Dec 10, 2020 7:20:21 GMT
I’ve just opened the last window on my Premature Ejaculator’s Support Group Advent Calendar.
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Post by Epworth Hatter on Dec 20, 2020 0:40:45 GMT
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Post by Epworth Hatter on Dec 21, 2020 7:06:21 GMT
Q. Who was Matt and Luke Goss's granny's acupuncturist
A. Pierce Brosnan
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