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Post by Epworth Hatter on Jun 1, 2020 21:14:44 GMT
I rang up Gamblers Anonymous about my fruit machine addiction, and they asked me to hold.
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Post by Epworth Hatter on Jun 2, 2020 19:44:08 GMT
I rang up the penis enlargement clinic, and they said "What extension do you require?”
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Post by Epworth Hatter on Jun 4, 2020 22:12:10 GMT
One time I slipped and fell into a drum kit, which sounds a lot worse than it actually is.
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Post by another_ruined_saturday on Jun 5, 2020 21:14:24 GMT
i'm slightly nervous about posting anything now in case the "we've had that one before" police turn up from macclesfield to delete me...
...but...apparently Liverpool FC were launching a men's fragrance in the sixties and wanted Yul Brynner to advertise it. he declined though, cos Yul Never Wore Cologne...
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Post by Epworth Hatter on Jun 5, 2020 21:48:55 GMT
definitely not had it before, ars. It’s an incredibly satisfying joke, thanks for posting
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Bar Jokes
Jun 5, 2020 23:51:03 GMT
via mobile
Post by hatter_in_macc on Jun 5, 2020 23:51:03 GMT
definitely not had it before, ars. It’s an incredibly satisfying joke, thanks for posting Seconded! And, anyway, I'm off duty... 😀
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Post by Epworth Hatter on Jul 11, 2020 5:29:22 GMT
I switched to Airplane mode and all the contacts in my phone changed to Shirley.
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Post by gazz on Jul 11, 2020 7:53:54 GMT
I switched to Airplane mode and all the contacts in my phone changed to Shirley.
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Post by sandbachhatter on Jul 11, 2020 12:33:58 GMT
I went to Court last week and the Judge told me I was far too egotistical.
I'm appealing.
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Post by sandbachhatter on Jul 11, 2020 12:34:29 GMT
I then went to my allotment and there was twice as much soil there as the week before.
The plot thickens.
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Post by Epworth Hatter on Jul 12, 2020 7:49:54 GMT
I thought my wife was joking when she said she wanted to go to a Monkees' concert in Switzerland, then I saw her face, now I'm in Geneva
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Post by sandbachhatter on Jul 12, 2020 11:16:28 GMT
Last night, Mrs Sandy and I watched three films back-to-back.
Fortunately, I was the one facing the TV.
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Post by Epworth Hatter on Aug 4, 2020 6:08:36 GMT
The second rule of Chinese Whispers club is apparently you won’t walk a boat tiny whiskers pub
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Bar Jokes
Aug 4, 2020 15:05:59 GMT
via mobile
Post by gazz on Aug 4, 2020 15:05:59 GMT
The second rule of Chinese Whispers club is apparently you won’t walk a boat tiny whiskers pub Indeed - purple monkey dishwasher!
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Post by sandbachhatter on Aug 4, 2020 16:15:42 GMT
What did the drummer call his twin daughters?
Anna 1, Anna 2.
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