Post by gazz on Dec 4, 2013 21:05:51 GMT
Injuries
bringbacklenwhite
As the European Championships descend on us this summer no doubt we will be surrounded by "anterior cruciates", "medial collaterals" and "lateral meniscus" damage. Thus robbing England of the services of at least 4 key players (ie anyone with over 15 caps and half a dozen goals against Luxemburg and Lichtenstein). Another major trophy will by-pass the inventors of the game again (how dare these johnny foreigners beat as at a game we made up).
What happened to all the old-fashioned type of injuries such "a good clattering", "a torn hamstring", "dislocated hock" and a "ripped fetlock". Can you imagine Dave Mackay (ex-Spurs and Derby chief warhammer) having a slightly strained metatarsal and missing a game ?
The worst instant sports injury I ever sustained (from a list of many) was a squash racquet across the face. I woke up in the dressing room 15 minutes later. Fortunately no bones broken but a burst nose, two gloroious black eyes and a set of cheek pouches that Hammy the Hamster would have been proud of. All inflicted by my wonderful brother who I was coaching back to fitness after he had broken a leg (second time) playing football. There's gratitude for you.
Picture the scene...
hatter in macc
...of an Edgeley Park packed to the rafters on a Winter's night, and bathed in the buzzing atmosphere of a Cup-tie being televised live for Sky.
The ball is headed into the opposition's penalty-area by Mike Flynn, and flicked on by Alun Armstrong - where our soon-to-be hero is waiting. Instinctively, he leaps like a salmon, cranes his neck back, and, with all the power he can muster, heads the ball like a bullet unstoppably into the back of the Railway End goal, putting County on the way to a famous victory against top-flight opposition.
Textbook stuff; technical perfection. And, as the home players' wild celebrations commence, the goalscorer's face is a picture of horror as the realisation of just what he has done begins to dawn...and the EP faithful break out in unison:
'There's only one Iain Dowie!"
I
archie
Subjective personal pronoun and letter that is absent from the words Stockport, County, Heaven and team.
If.............
Sir Roger
My rendition of Kipling's masterpiece, updated accordingly. Am sure he won't mind on this occasion:-
IF we can keep our heads when all about us
Are losing theirs and blaming it on others,
If we can trust Jim Gannon and his team when all others doubt us,
But make allowance for our early season failings too;
If we can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
If we can dream - and not make dreams our master;
If we can think - and not make thoughts our aim;
If we can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If we can trust and hear the truth that Jim has spoken
That our situation was made insecure by fools no longer with us,
When we watch the Club we give our life to, now almost broken.
And now Jim’s here to build it back up with players chosen:
If we can continue on our progress made
With our run of 7 games unbeaten at home,
But if we lose, and start again at our beginnings
And never breathe a word about our misfortunes;
If we can force our hearts and nerve and sinew
To serve our team with the support it needs,
And so hold on when there is nothing in us
Except the will which says 'Come on County!'
If we can raise the atmosphere with voices loud and,
Chants of The Scarf” and “Jimmy Gannon’s Blue & White Army”,
If neither other teams nor boardroom failings can hurt us,
If Animo et Fide is what we believe, to a Club we love so much;
If we can all fill the unforgiving 90 minutes
With 5,400 seconds' worth of effort for the cause,
Ours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - Stockport County will be safe this season, my friends!
Ipswich Town
bigfudge
When I was in college, we had a 5 a side tournament, with 92 teams from various colleges around Stockport, it was a student organised thing which makes the success of it all the more remarkable, boys and girls were welcome but as I remember 3 girls turned up and their teams were duly knocked out in the group stage.
What happened is you submitted your team and then your team would be allocated a random team from the 92 football league sides at the time and then you were kitted out in that teams kit for a fiver a pop!! Quite how the stumped up ALL them kits I'll never know and then off you went, you started in a basic group of varying amounts, ours had 8 and then played every team once before advancing to the knockout stages if you were in the top 2 of the 8 groups (they were huge groups) and they were all played on the Saturday, with the progressing teams coming back for Round 2 on the Sunday, in Round 2 we played Tranmere Rovers and progressed with a huge 7-1 win for the Tractor Boys.
The quarter final is the game I'll always remember though, as we played Stockport County, and we won this one more marginally as 6-5 or 5-4 I don't really remember this one AS well as the 'Tranmere Rovers game' but I remember actually feeling guilty we'd knocked out County despite it being complete luck that they got drawn as County and we didn't!
The semi's pitted us against Everton where we were really really tired and after storming into 3-0 lead after about 10 minutes, the final 20 minutes of the game were just spent knocking the ball around between each other, the toffeemen did pull one back but we held on to make the final where we played Bolton Wanderers!
We actually went behind from kick off in this game with our keeper telling the ref he was ready despite the fact he still hadn't put his gloves on, so they shot and scored and our heads really dropped as we were knackered and with the previous semi running over the time allocation our final was shortened to 20 minutes rather than 30 but we rallied and somehow despite being absolutely dead managed to score 2 quick goals and just held on for dear dear life to bring the glory days back to Ipswich Town!!
For a couple of days, The Stockport College's Challenge Cup was listed as one of Ipswich's honours but was soon taken down, Ipswich haven't won a cup since the 80's, in my opinion they should be happy to have any cup!!
Volume 1 of my twelve volume biography comes out this Summer, mapping my path to stardom!!
Ice Hockey
sandbachhatter
I've only ever seen one Ice Hockey game and that was on a trip to Belfast to see a mate of mine from Law School. I took some of my mates with me, and to say we had an eventful airport experience on the way there would be an understatement.
Now, my own personal airport experience at Manchester was, admittedly, entirely my own doing. I was very into playing Poker at the time and decided I would take my tin of poker chips with me. It was a metal tin with stacks of plastic chips in columns inside. I was also taking a CD player and a set of speakers, and these required batteries. To this day, I don't know what possessed me, but rather than have the batteries loose in my bag, I decided to attach them to the poker chips tin with an elastic band.
Would you believe it, but that tends to look a bit dodgy going through an airport scanner. Now, those of you that know me, know I have a warped sense of humour, but apparently the officials at Manchester Airport didn't see the funny side, even though one guy told me it was their 3rd poker tin of the day.
On top of this, one of my mates Ben was accidentally checked onto the plane twice by the dizzy bint at check in. Seemingly, there were two passengers, both called Ben and with similar surnames, and upon realising her mistake she checked him in under his correct name but didn't cancel the first reservation and checked the other Ben in seperately later on.
This led to there being one person on the plane too many, and his bag being removed onto the tarmac for the sniffer dogs to give it the once over. For the rest of the trip he was known as Osama Ben Laden.
My other mate, who was coming over from Sheffield, was running late. Very late in fact, and arrived shortly before we were due to board the plane. He'd got himself into a bit of a state thinking he was going to miss the flight, and had barely caught his breath by the time we landed (it was only a short flight, you see) so was relieved when we got to Belfast and my mate met us at the airport.
Although I knew this mate from Law School, he'd failed his exams and the re-sits due to the fact his mum had past away during exam week (with the re-sits being very soon thereafter while he was still grieving) and by the time of this trip had just 'passed out' as a police officer.
As we got into the car, I made some joke about him being a Uni**d fan and he pulled a gun on me, pushed it into my crotch in the passenger seat and pulled the trigger. I wasn't to know it wasn't loaded, and damn near crap*ed myself. This is his sense of humour. Makes mine look tame huh?
Anyway, our mate from Sheffield recounted his horrendous trip over while we drove to the ice hockey game (see there is a link) that the friend from Belfast had got us tickets for. We arrived at the Odyssey Arena and took our seats just as the teams emerged, my mate still whining about how difficult his trip from Sheffield to Manchester Airport had been. At which point he asked "who are Belfast playing out of interest?"
"Sheffield."
Ipswich Town
downunderhatter
When we played Ipswich in the League Cup in the 95/96 season, I was the one who got tw@tted on the side of the head while the players were doing their warm up.
I’m sure it was Gannon.
That is all.
bringbacklenwhite
As the European Championships descend on us this summer no doubt we will be surrounded by "anterior cruciates", "medial collaterals" and "lateral meniscus" damage. Thus robbing England of the services of at least 4 key players (ie anyone with over 15 caps and half a dozen goals against Luxemburg and Lichtenstein). Another major trophy will by-pass the inventors of the game again (how dare these johnny foreigners beat as at a game we made up).
What happened to all the old-fashioned type of injuries such "a good clattering", "a torn hamstring", "dislocated hock" and a "ripped fetlock". Can you imagine Dave Mackay (ex-Spurs and Derby chief warhammer) having a slightly strained metatarsal and missing a game ?
The worst instant sports injury I ever sustained (from a list of many) was a squash racquet across the face. I woke up in the dressing room 15 minutes later. Fortunately no bones broken but a burst nose, two gloroious black eyes and a set of cheek pouches that Hammy the Hamster would have been proud of. All inflicted by my wonderful brother who I was coaching back to fitness after he had broken a leg (second time) playing football. There's gratitude for you.
Picture the scene...
hatter in macc
...of an Edgeley Park packed to the rafters on a Winter's night, and bathed in the buzzing atmosphere of a Cup-tie being televised live for Sky.
The ball is headed into the opposition's penalty-area by Mike Flynn, and flicked on by Alun Armstrong - where our soon-to-be hero is waiting. Instinctively, he leaps like a salmon, cranes his neck back, and, with all the power he can muster, heads the ball like a bullet unstoppably into the back of the Railway End goal, putting County on the way to a famous victory against top-flight opposition.
Textbook stuff; technical perfection. And, as the home players' wild celebrations commence, the goalscorer's face is a picture of horror as the realisation of just what he has done begins to dawn...and the EP faithful break out in unison:
'There's only one Iain Dowie!"
I
archie
Subjective personal pronoun and letter that is absent from the words Stockport, County, Heaven and team.
If.............
Sir Roger
My rendition of Kipling's masterpiece, updated accordingly. Am sure he won't mind on this occasion:-
IF we can keep our heads when all about us
Are losing theirs and blaming it on others,
If we can trust Jim Gannon and his team when all others doubt us,
But make allowance for our early season failings too;
If we can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
If we can dream - and not make dreams our master;
If we can think - and not make thoughts our aim;
If we can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If we can trust and hear the truth that Jim has spoken
That our situation was made insecure by fools no longer with us,
When we watch the Club we give our life to, now almost broken.
And now Jim’s here to build it back up with players chosen:
If we can continue on our progress made
With our run of 7 games unbeaten at home,
But if we lose, and start again at our beginnings
And never breathe a word about our misfortunes;
If we can force our hearts and nerve and sinew
To serve our team with the support it needs,
And so hold on when there is nothing in us
Except the will which says 'Come on County!'
If we can raise the atmosphere with voices loud and,
Chants of The Scarf” and “Jimmy Gannon’s Blue & White Army”,
If neither other teams nor boardroom failings can hurt us,
If Animo et Fide is what we believe, to a Club we love so much;
If we can all fill the unforgiving 90 minutes
With 5,400 seconds' worth of effort for the cause,
Ours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - Stockport County will be safe this season, my friends!
Ipswich Town
bigfudge
When I was in college, we had a 5 a side tournament, with 92 teams from various colleges around Stockport, it was a student organised thing which makes the success of it all the more remarkable, boys and girls were welcome but as I remember 3 girls turned up and their teams were duly knocked out in the group stage.
What happened is you submitted your team and then your team would be allocated a random team from the 92 football league sides at the time and then you were kitted out in that teams kit for a fiver a pop!! Quite how the stumped up ALL them kits I'll never know and then off you went, you started in a basic group of varying amounts, ours had 8 and then played every team once before advancing to the knockout stages if you were in the top 2 of the 8 groups (they were huge groups) and they were all played on the Saturday, with the progressing teams coming back for Round 2 on the Sunday, in Round 2 we played Tranmere Rovers and progressed with a huge 7-1 win for the Tractor Boys.
The quarter final is the game I'll always remember though, as we played Stockport County, and we won this one more marginally as 6-5 or 5-4 I don't really remember this one AS well as the 'Tranmere Rovers game' but I remember actually feeling guilty we'd knocked out County despite it being complete luck that they got drawn as County and we didn't!
The semi's pitted us against Everton where we were really really tired and after storming into 3-0 lead after about 10 minutes, the final 20 minutes of the game were just spent knocking the ball around between each other, the toffeemen did pull one back but we held on to make the final where we played Bolton Wanderers!
We actually went behind from kick off in this game with our keeper telling the ref he was ready despite the fact he still hadn't put his gloves on, so they shot and scored and our heads really dropped as we were knackered and with the previous semi running over the time allocation our final was shortened to 20 minutes rather than 30 but we rallied and somehow despite being absolutely dead managed to score 2 quick goals and just held on for dear dear life to bring the glory days back to Ipswich Town!!
For a couple of days, The Stockport College's Challenge Cup was listed as one of Ipswich's honours but was soon taken down, Ipswich haven't won a cup since the 80's, in my opinion they should be happy to have any cup!!
Volume 1 of my twelve volume biography comes out this Summer, mapping my path to stardom!!
Ice Hockey
sandbachhatter
I've only ever seen one Ice Hockey game and that was on a trip to Belfast to see a mate of mine from Law School. I took some of my mates with me, and to say we had an eventful airport experience on the way there would be an understatement.
Now, my own personal airport experience at Manchester was, admittedly, entirely my own doing. I was very into playing Poker at the time and decided I would take my tin of poker chips with me. It was a metal tin with stacks of plastic chips in columns inside. I was also taking a CD player and a set of speakers, and these required batteries. To this day, I don't know what possessed me, but rather than have the batteries loose in my bag, I decided to attach them to the poker chips tin with an elastic band.
Would you believe it, but that tends to look a bit dodgy going through an airport scanner. Now, those of you that know me, know I have a warped sense of humour, but apparently the officials at Manchester Airport didn't see the funny side, even though one guy told me it was their 3rd poker tin of the day.
On top of this, one of my mates Ben was accidentally checked onto the plane twice by the dizzy bint at check in. Seemingly, there were two passengers, both called Ben and with similar surnames, and upon realising her mistake she checked him in under his correct name but didn't cancel the first reservation and checked the other Ben in seperately later on.
This led to there being one person on the plane too many, and his bag being removed onto the tarmac for the sniffer dogs to give it the once over. For the rest of the trip he was known as Osama Ben Laden.
My other mate, who was coming over from Sheffield, was running late. Very late in fact, and arrived shortly before we were due to board the plane. He'd got himself into a bit of a state thinking he was going to miss the flight, and had barely caught his breath by the time we landed (it was only a short flight, you see) so was relieved when we got to Belfast and my mate met us at the airport.
Although I knew this mate from Law School, he'd failed his exams and the re-sits due to the fact his mum had past away during exam week (with the re-sits being very soon thereafter while he was still grieving) and by the time of this trip had just 'passed out' as a police officer.
As we got into the car, I made some joke about him being a Uni**d fan and he pulled a gun on me, pushed it into my crotch in the passenger seat and pulled the trigger. I wasn't to know it wasn't loaded, and damn near crap*ed myself. This is his sense of humour. Makes mine look tame huh?
Anyway, our mate from Sheffield recounted his horrendous trip over while we drove to the ice hockey game (see there is a link) that the friend from Belfast had got us tickets for. We arrived at the Odyssey Arena and took our seats just as the teams emerged, my mate still whining about how difficult his trip from Sheffield to Manchester Airport had been. At which point he asked "who are Belfast playing out of interest?"
"Sheffield."
Ipswich Town
downunderhatter
When we played Ipswich in the League Cup in the 95/96 season, I was the one who got tw@tted on the side of the head while the players were doing their warm up.
I’m sure it was Gannon.
That is all.