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Post by woznorthyorksexile on May 31, 2022 11:02:03 GMT
Have we done TIKTOK? It's still getting another mention if we have. This is another piece of social media shite that I'd love to see the back of, with it's childish 'filters' and p**s-boiling fake laughter background tracks. To anyone out there with TIKTOK that has my number, PLEASE scroll PAST my name when sharing anything from this utter shitefest. It's soshul meeja inni' mate, can't live wivou' i'. If it's any consolation I was wandering through Carlisle town centre last weekend and a bloke came striding past me giving all his attention to his phone as he typed something in whilst laughing to himself....and walked straight into a street vendor's table. It was v funny!
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Post by dudleyhatter on May 31, 2022 15:44:58 GMT
Have we done TIKTOK? It's still getting another mention if we have. This is another piece of social media shite that I'd love to see the back of, with it's childish 'filters' and p**s-boiling fake laughter background tracks. To anyone out there with TIKTOK that has my number, PLEASE scroll PAST my name when sharing anything from this utter shitefest. Never have and never will do TikTok.
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Post by gazz on May 31, 2022 19:20:15 GMT
Have we done TIKTOK? It's still getting another mention if we have. This is another piece of social media shite that I'd love to see the back of, with it's childish 'filters' and p**s-boiling fake laughter background tracks. To anyone out there with TIKTOK that has my number, PLEASE scroll PAST my name when sharing anything from this utter shitefest. It's soshul meeja inni' mate, can't live wivou' i'. If it's any consolation I was wandering through Carlisle town centre last weekend and a bloke came striding past me giving all his attention to his phone as he typed something in whilst laughing to himself....and walked straight into a street vendor's table. It was v funny!
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Post by gazz on Jun 2, 2022 17:38:20 GMT
The Jubilee.
The country is on its arse, people are struggling to put food on their tables and fuel their households....
Sorry, just..... f*** RIGHT OFF.
I'll be decorating my kitchen and bathroom.
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Post by woznorthyorksexile on Jun 2, 2022 17:56:12 GMT
The French knew how to deal with hereditary heads of state and I confess to being in complete agreement with them on the subject of those who are there by the grace of God and an accident of birth. It’s just sooo medieval.
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Post by gazz on Jun 2, 2022 18:12:07 GMT
The French knew how to deal with hereditary heads of state and I confess to being in complete agreement with them on the subject of those who are there by the grace of God and an accident of birth. It’s just sooo medieval. There's a guy I work with that hasn't got a pot to piss in, to the point where he's taking his washing around to his mum's house because his washing machine is broken and he can't afford a replacement, yet he's paying someone in his street EIGHTY POUNDS along with his other neighbours to help fund their street party - what the f*** is wrong with people?
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Post by gazz on Jul 21, 2022 21:31:51 GMT
Wayne Mardle..... again.
An absolute embarrassment of a man. If he got any further up Fat Gurning's backside he'd be able to check his f***ing teeth for cavities.
He's an 'expert' commentator, apparently, yet his biggest contribution to darts as a player was his ability to hit the treble 5 almost at will!
FOR SALE:
One trophy cabinet, as good as new, never opened, £10 ONO - call Wayne for more details.
What a Wayneker.
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Post by gazz on Jul 27, 2022 19:02:00 GMT
National anthems in the football, and the cameraman's intrusive filming of every player along the line to hear them singing, it's bloody awkward and it's horrible to watch.
No matter how proud I've ever been of my country (not so much now), you'd never see me singing the bloody national anthem - I don't even sing 'Happy Birthday' FFS!
I still say 'La Marseillaise' is the finest national anthem in the world, though, it really is a rousing piece - my country's is just a piece of pompous shite.
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Post by bringbacklenwhite on Jul 29, 2022 13:24:25 GMT
The Spanish anthem is the best ---- no words !!!
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Post by dudleyhatter on Jul 29, 2022 13:53:41 GMT
The Spanish anthem is the best ---- no words !!! And they love it! Quick too!!
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Post by ceefer on Jul 29, 2022 15:42:13 GMT
Nah the Dutch one is definitely up there ....
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Post by gazz on Aug 6, 2022 16:16:40 GMT
Football, it can f*** right off tonight.
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Post by gazz on Nov 2, 2022 10:26:43 GMT
The jobsworth bitch at the Kirkby Train Station ticket office.
When I visit my family in Stockport I always get an off-peak saver return from Kirkby to Stockport, which connects me to Liverpool Central, then I have a short walk to Liverpool Lime Street.
I need to get the 09:13 train in order to make the 09:51 Norwich train, which passes through Stockport. However, she wouldn't let me travel on the 9:13 to central as it's still peak time until half past.
In response to this I said it'll be half past when i get to Central, but she wasn't having any of it and said I'll need to buy a peak single to Central and buy my saver return to Stockport on top of that, so I said ok.
I ask her for a single to Central and I'll use the saver return when I get to Lime Street, as it'll be off-peak time when I get that train. All this is going on while the train I need to get is two minutes from f***ing leaving.
She does her best 'I'm trying to look like I'm rushing this but there's no way I'm rushing this' impression while she prints me a peak single ticket and my saver return, then after handing me my tickets she tells me that I'll have to buy another single from Lime Street when I come back!
I said, I needed the saver return from Kirkby, that's what I've just tried to buy because I need to get back to Kirkby, so she f***s about some more waffling about train times etc and prints me two more saver return tickets off, this time from Kirkby.
I finally get them and run to the three sets of steps I've now got to navigate to get down to the platform, and see the doors closing on the train when I'm about halfway down the steps!
By this time my piss is just about reaching boiling point and my already paper-thin filter had all but dissolved in the steam, so I stop on the steps and shout "oh for f***'s sake!" and turn around to walk back up the steps to give the woman in the ticket office a volley.
Just as I was about to walk back up the steps, I heard someone shout "E R MATE!", so I look round and see that it was the driver who had seen me and had kindly opened the doors again for me, then waited while I got on the train - what a legend!
I hope that driver has a belting day today, but I hope that jobsworth bitch in the office gets an undiluted dose of weapons grade f***ing karma 🤬🤬
*Epilogue*
My Lime Street train was delayed, as some old lady wasn't feeling too well and had to be escorted off to a waiting ambulance. She walked tentatively but on her own steam nonetheless, but she did look out of breath - I sincerely hope she's ok.
I'm starting to wonder what my journey will bring next, maybe an escaped pregnant elephant will get on the track and go into labour - I'll keep you all posted!
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Post by hatter_in_macc on Nov 2, 2022 16:42:26 GMT
You need to write a book, Gazz-man! Hope that the old lady who was taken ill is feeling better after going to hospital.
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Post by gazz on Nov 2, 2022 17:55:08 GMT
You need to write a book, Gazz-man! Hope that the old lady who was taken ill is feeling better after going to hospital. You're not kidding about the book, mate, but the papers mills might need to plant more trees first! My train back is running slow due to a speed restriction, I heard a voice on the PA system saying something about maintenance and that we are following two other trains, so who knows what's going on. The rail system in this country seems as though it's on the verge of total collapse, and if this train journey is anything to go by it won't be long before it does - almost every train on the board at Stockport was either delayed or cancelled! I too hope the lady is ok, matey. She did walk off on her own two feet to a waiting wheelchair as I say, so hopefully it's nothing too serious.
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