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Post by bringbacklenwhite on May 19, 2014 20:16:45 GMT
Finland ShirtI was interviewed by a London based press-officer for Age UK (who sponsor our Blackpool FC Walking Football project). He looked about 17, but so do most people to me who don't possess any facial hair. After a few of the usual questions about background, involvement and benefits of taking part, he threw me a little bit as he asked me why I was wearing a Finland shirt with the number 10 on it and named on the back with "Litmanen". So I threw it back at him. "Simple", I replied, "It's to cover up the Vietnam national shirt I'm wearing underneath" !!! His chin nearly hit the ground when I showed him the sweat stained, yellow starred red shirt. (I ought to say here that I have a collection of shirts purchased in countries I or members of my family have visited. I bought the Finnish in Tallinn one as I couldn't find one for Estonia).
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Post by sandbachhatter on May 20, 2014 21:54:30 GMT
Just in the nick of time....
Forest Green and Forfeits
Saturday 10th November 2012
This being the nearest away fixture to our good friend Bradninch Hatter, myself, my brother (Captain Beefheart) and a friend of ours who I shall call Dave (as that's his name) decided to travel to deepest darkest Gloucestershire to meet with him. We'd got a very good deal on the Travelodge in Gloucester (where Bradninch was staying with his daughter) and planned a night of curry and beer afterwards.
We met for lunch with the family Macc (bearing in mind Forest Green is meat-free), before travelling in convoy to the ground where the first point of amusement (in a weekend which had plenty) was my receiving £6 change from £20 when the ticket price was £15. They'd clearly made the maths deliberately easy for the ticket office staff, only for the mouth-breathers they'd employed to let them down.
Once in the ground, we did what we always do on away days when we're staying over - set some forfeits. We decided to predict the attendance, the score and the time of the first goal, with the forfeits being:
(a) the worst bed in the Travelodge (a pull out box) (b) downing a Jagerbomb (c) eating the hottest curry on the menu that evening.
Of course, as one would expect, I lost all three. I was most annoyed about the bed as I had driven us all the way there and felt I'd earned a good night's kip.
Nevertheless, I was not going to shy away from my punishment and completed each forfeit quite early in the evening.
The beer (and Jagerbombs) continued to flow and, approaching 10.30pm, Bradders decided he would head back to his daughter's flat as she wasn't well and he wanted to leave us to get stupidly drunk on our own.
On directing us to a bar as he retired for the night, he briefly mentioned that they did karaoke on a Saturday, at which point Beefy's drunken eyes lit up. On learning that Beefy may indeed make a drunken fool of himself, Bradders decided he'd tag along for 'just one more drink to see if he goes through with it'.
He eventually left us at 1.30am.
The reason for this was that, as we entered said pub, it was immediately clear that this was a 'local pub for local people' and the likes of us, with our fancy clothes and full sets of teeth were not hugely welcome. It also became clear that there were two blokes singing that night in turns - one who fancied himself as Tom Jones and the other who thought he was Robbie Williams. Neither was very good.
Despite being made to feel rather unwelcome, Beefy was undeterred and put his name down. Sure enough, two songs later the compere announced that it was his turn. His song of choice? "Common People" by Pulp.
Deathly silence.
Until he started singing. He admits he's not the best singer in the world but my God he gave it some, to the point that he was grinding up against particularly gruesome middle-aged women during the line "I wanna sleep with common people like you." Surprisingly, particularly to the three of us getting ready to make a hasty exit once he'd finished, this went down a storm and he got a standing ovation. We were now part of the family (and despite there being over 50 people in there easily, we suspected that it WAS just one family).
Sadly, Beefy had got the taste of adoration from the crowd and, not half an hour (and several Jagers) later, he got up again and absolutely murdered 'The Power of Love' by Huey Lewis & The News.
I don't think it could have gone down worse if it'd had been the Jennifer Rush song instead.
Always leave them wanting more Beefy, always leave them wanting more.
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Post by bringbacklenwhite on May 21, 2014 8:08:16 GMT
Captain Beefheart !!!!
Still waters run deep, my friend.
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Post by archie on May 21, 2014 11:04:55 GMT
Shouldn't he have offered a selection from Trout Mask Replica?
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Post by bringbacklenwhite on May 21, 2014 13:08:12 GMT
Fine time to fettle a favourite, Fudge. Fire away.
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Post by Admin on May 21, 2014 13:19:10 GMT
Whilst I think this has been the strongest week yet. I was more or less decided on Eppys Fran story but at the last minute Sandy came storming in with a great story about the inimitable Beefy and claimed Gold!
All fantastic efforts but Sandy's just nicks it for me!
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Post by bringbacklenwhite on May 21, 2014 13:25:02 GMT
Nice one Fudge, well done Sandy - with an assist from Beefy (close runner up Eppy).
Cheers all.
Week G is now out there.
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Post by sandbachhatter on May 21, 2014 13:42:53 GMT
Aw, shucks, thanks Fudgeman!
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Post by Epworth Hatter OLD account on May 21, 2014 18:55:21 GMT
Thanks for the mention, Fudge. Well played Sandy - an excellent story with a great final line.
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