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Post by bringbacklenwhite on May 7, 2014 13:30:35 GMT
Ello, ello ello. Or "e n le" as we Yoruban speakers say !!
Eloquent elocution and egregious effrontery is expected as effortless elucidations of embedded embroilments emerge in emotional examples emitting from edifying earnest encounters.
Yes, it's Week E and Chaos Too awaits your emulations.
Enchanting endeavours or encapsulated endearments ? Your eminent emotions are empowered.
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Post by bringbacklenwhite on May 8, 2014 13:25:59 GMT
Early Leavers
Why, oh, why do some punters leave early. To beat the rush and be home 10 minutes early for repeats of "You've been Framed" ? To avoid the embarrassment of being sung to by the opposition fans "You're sh**e and you know you are". "How sh**e must you be, we're winning away". etc etc.
Most of this feckless group usually then block the exits and walkways "just in case something happens" obscuring the eye-line of those willing to stick it out and endure the full 90 minutes of torture from their place of choice.
At Blackpool we have 2 youngish ladies who sit 5 seats down from us (IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BL**DY ROW, I ASK YOU !) One of them always goes to the retail outlet for the coffees on 37 minutes - every game. She then returns 3 minutes into the second half only for them to depart as a pair on 86 minutes precisely. A recent survey over the last 3 years at Bloomfield Road has shown that they have missed 37 goals (for one team or the other) between them.
I just can't understand the mentality of this. Would you arrive late and leave early at the cinema or theatre ? "Sorry love, if we go now we can beat the queues and be home for cocoa and News at Ten. I'm not really bothered to find out who did the murder".
Do you see where I am coming from ?
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Post by gazz on May 8, 2014 13:50:51 GMT
Absolutely, Lennie.
I'd be lying if I said I've not been tempted in recent times, but my eldest son wouldn't budge so I've had no choice but to sit it out with him.
Cheers, son x
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Post by another_ruined_saturday on May 8, 2014 18:16:02 GMT
you also have my full agreement lennie. i've done it before (after 43 minutes at rotherham having not got in the ground until 18 minutes in, at wednesday at 4-1 down, at huddersfield when they scored their 5th) but it has to be exceptionally miserable! the early leavers do get 'we can see you sneaking out' etc, and are obliged to wave at the opposition fans.
must admit that i will often move down to the bit in the main stand between the match control box thing and the disabled section; but i'm far too scared to miss anything. i can never understand in the slightest when the match is locked at 1-1, or one side is leading by just one goal, why anyone would depart early. i don't want to sit in queues of traffic, but the idea of zooming away on empty roads only to hear jon keighren's voice rise in pitch describing a late county winner terrifies me too much to leave the ground completely.
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Post by another_ruined_saturday on May 8, 2014 18:16:58 GMT
he sounds a good lad, gazz.  |
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Post by gazz on May 8, 2014 19:37:12 GMT
he sounds a good lad, gazz. He is, mate. 6-0 down against Huddersfield at home with plenty of the game still to go, I turned to him and said "If another one goes in we're leaving ok" He just shook his head in defiance and stayed put until the final whistle. You won't see support like that at Wastelands. Proper fan. |
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Post by another_ruined_saturday on May 8, 2014 19:54:08 GMT
edinburgh, plainmoor, underhill (not necessarily in that order)
spring 2006. you remember. that spring after that winter. that winter during which the christmases of two and a half thousand county were ruined at moss rose, then one james gannon came in on his white charger, temporarily at first, until the entirety of the win at spotland was spent singing his name and it all gained more permanency.
even with the ghost back in charge, there was a lot to do. we started picking up points, we introduced a young liam dickinson who scored at cheltenham home and away, and the two county goals at chester. but it wasn't all plain sailing, and late in the season we were still in desperate trouble, our cherished league status under threat.
two big away games against fellow strugglers within a few days. first up was torquay. i was one of a large contingent of county fans who had gone down there a couple of weeks before, only for the game to be called off at the 11th hour. we found out at twenty five to three, driving from the middle of torquay towards the ground. our mate on the phone was met with a fusillade of "is it f**k"'s and "you're f**king joking"'s. worst of all for me, unlike a lot of the others i wasn't staying over. it's 300.3 miles according to the aa route planner from my house. a 600 mile round trip to watch a man city game in the pub...
but like idiots, we went down again for the rearranged fixture on a tuesday night. well it was important. and it didn't go well. 4-0, including a sweet overhead kick, a big pushing match with the stewards, and the second part of the second recent 600 mile round trip to torquay to endure. obviously, if you're at a night match and then have a 300 mile journey home, you're getting in a bit late. i'd taken the following day off, but felt a bit knackered from it anyway. so that was the tuesday night.
on the thursday, silver jews were playing at the -ahem- bongo club in edinburgh. they were an american band who didn't really play live. they'd never played in the uk before. their uk tour consisted of one show in edinburgh and one show in london. thanks gents. now i'd seen pretty much every band or artist i've ever liked. and in 1994 i'd seen a cardboard sleeved mini lp called 'the arizona record' in crash records in leeds. somebody at the shop had scrawled 'featuring members of pavement' on a sticker, and pavement were my favourite band. soon, the droll poetry of silver jews made them another of my faves. 11 years later and their first uk dates are a combined distance of half a world away from me.
ok. i've been to torquay on tuesday. i didn't get back until stupid o'clock, but i'd slept a bit on wednesday. in work early thursday so i could leave early. in the end i didn't set off until half five, and headed for the A1. not the nicest of roads. becomes a pain in the a_r_s as it goes single lane in happy jockoland. routeplanner has this at a mere 211.9 miles each way, but the roads are slower. ...anyway...so after much anticpation, i ticked off the silver jews. ticked off because it turns out they're not actually that much cop live. just to make matters worse, they came back the following year and played a far more manageably-distanced manchester uni. i went of course. not much cop.
driving home at some ungodly hour, i was seriously struggling to stay awake. periodically on the A1 there are lay-bys to pull into, but it's unlit, and it feels like you're halfway past them before you realise they're there. i had to find one though, and swerved in, braking, a little later than i would have liked to. there followed a large bang, a lurch of the car, and my head nearly smashing through the sunroof. turns out many of these lay-bys have a kerb... little gaps at the entrance and exit, but the rest is kerbed from the road. makes sense i suppose, until you hit it at 45 miles an hour. it felt liked i'd fired the ejector seat but the canopy hadn't opened. i did managed to get a bit of sleep before the car and i finally limped the rest of the way home.
so now saturday, and we're at barnet. now i must admit to cheating here - it was the turn of one of my mates to drive, which means me driving to just below chesterfield where we meet up. he drove the rest of the way. i'm having it anyway - 187.1 miles according to the AA. a sea of blue outside that pub near the ground. 1700 of the county faithful turned out, as a victory would go a long way to securing our safety. we were behind the goal, and down the side. we went closest, particularly first half; but the match petered out into a 0-0 draw, which left us neither here nor there. we'd be biting our nails against carlisle next week! i was happy to leave the throng in the pub after and trudge back to the tube station car park to get going on the final leg of my week's automotive marathon. THAT's what you call 'a journey', you x-factor milksops.
so. tuesday; torquay. 600.6 miles. torquay 4 county 0.
thursday; edinburgh. 423.8 miles. a slightly disappointing gig and a close encounter with a kerb.
saturday; barnet. 374.2 miles. barnet 0 county 0 and our league status still unresolved.
two crap football matches and a crap gig. 1400 miles between tuesday and saturday, and a car begging for mercy. how much of it did i enjoy? very little. but what else are you gonna do?
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Post by hatter_in_macc on May 8, 2014 22:40:55 GMT
County's Eagles Five-a-side Team
Eagle Comic: Chris 'Plug' Adamson
Bald Eagle: Chris Marsden
Under-par Eagle: James 'Mild Headache, So Can't Be A_r_s_ed' Quinn
American Eagle: Bruce Murray
IllEgal: Chris Byrne
Manager: Where Eagles Dar(e)ije Kalezic
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Post by sirroger on May 9, 2014 7:54:33 GMT
edinburgh, plainmoor, underhill (not necessarily in that order) spring 2006. you remember. that spring after that winter. that winter during which the christmases of two and a half thousand county were ruined at moss rose, then one james gannon came in on his white charger, temporarily at first, until the entirety of the win at spotland was spent singing his name and it all gained more permanency. even with the ghost back in charge, there was a lot to do. we started picking up points, we introduced a young liam dickinson who scored at cheltenham home and away, and the two county goals at chester. but it wasn't all plain sailing, and late in the season we were still in desperate trouble, our cherished league status under threat. two big away games against fellow strugglers within a few days. first up was torquay. i was one of a large contingent of county fans who had gone down there a couple of weeks before, only for the game to be called off at the 11th hour. we found out at twenty five to three, driving from the middle of torquay towards the ground. our mate on the phone was met with a fusillade of "is it f**k"'s and "you're f**king joking"'s. worst of all for me, unlike a lot of the others i wasn't staying over. it's 300.3 miles according to the aa route planner from my house. a 600 mile round trip to watch a man city game in the pub... but like idiots, we went down again for the rearranged fixture on a tuesday night. well it was important. and it didn't go well. 4-0, including a sweet overhead kick, a big pushing match with the stewards, and the second part of the second recent 600 mile round trip to torquay to endure. obviously, if you're at a night match and then have a 300 mile journey home, you're getting in a bit late. i'd taken the following day off, but felt a bit knackered from it anyway. so that was the tuesday night. on the thursday, silver jews were playing at the -ahem- bongo club in edinburgh. they were an american band who didn't really play live. they'd never played in the uk before. their uk tour consisted of one show in edinburgh and one show in london. thanks gents. now i'd seen pretty much every band or artist i've ever liked. and in 1994 i'd seen a cardboard sleeved mini lp called 'the arizona record' in crash records in leeds. somebody at the shop had scrawled 'featuring members of pavement' on a sticker, and pavement were my favourite band. soon, the droll poetry of silver jews made them another of my faves. 11 years later and their first uk dates are a combined distance of half a world away from me. ok. i've been to torquay on tuesday. i didn't get back until stupid o'clock, but i'd slept a bit on wednesday. in work early thursday so i could leave early. in the end i didn't set off until half five, and headed for the A1. not the nicest of roads. becomes a pain in the a_r_s as it goes single lane in happy jockoland. routeplanner has this at a mere 211.9 miles each way, but the roads are slower. ...anyway...so after much anticpation, i ticked off the silver jews. ticked off because it turns out they're not actually that much cop live. just to make matters worse, they came back the following year and played a far more manageably-distanced manchester uni. i went of course. not much cop. driving home at some ungodly hour, i was seriously struggling to stay awake. periodically on the A1 there are lay-bys to pull into, but it's unlit, and it feels like you're halfway past them before you realise they're there. i had to find one though, and swerved in, braking, a little later than i would have liked to. there followed a large bang, a lurch of the car, and my head nearly smashing through the sunroof. turns out many of these lay-bys have a kerb... little gaps at the entrance and exit, but the rest is kerbed from the road. makes sense i suppose, until you hit it at 45 miles an hour. it felt liked i'd fired the ejector seat but the canopy hadn't opened. i did managed to get a bit of sleep before the car and i finally limped the rest of the way home. so now saturday, and we're at barnet. now i must admit to cheating here - it was the turn of one of my mates to drive, which means me driving to just below chesterfield where we meet up. he drove the rest of the way. i'm having it anyway - 187.1 miles according to the AA. a sea of blue outside that pub near the ground. 1700 of the county faithful turned out, as a victory would go a long way to securing our safety. we were behind the goal, and down the side. we went closest, particularly first half; but the match petered out into a 0-0 draw, which left us neither here nor there. we'd be biting our nails against carlisle next week! i was happy to leave the throng in the pub after and trudge back to the tube station car park to get going on the final leg of my week's automotive marathon. THAT's what you call 'a journey', you x-factor milksops. so. tuesday; torquay. 600.6 miles. torquay 4 county 0. thursday; edinburgh. 423.8 miles. a slightly disappointing gig and a close encounter with a kerb. saturday; barnet. 374.2 miles. barnet 0 county 0 and our league status still unresolved. two crap football matches and a crap gig. 1400 miles between tuesday and saturday, and a car begging for mercy. how much of it did i enjoy? very little. but what else are you gonna do? Brilliant, exile. |
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Post by bringbacklenwhite on May 9, 2014 8:17:07 GMT
ARS - Edinburgh
What CHAOS was invented for !!! Quite brilliant.
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Post by Admin on May 9, 2014 8:34:00 GMT
Early Mornings;
Several times in my sports fan career I've woken up early to go and watch County play in the arseend of nowhere.
This time however I was playing, it was for my schools Rugby Team and we were going to play in a tournament in the Netherlands. I had never been to the Netherlands before so I was very excited. We were flying from Manchester Airport to Belgium. The coach wanted everyone to stay over in a hotel but for personal reasons I simply couldn't so we made arrangements to meet up with everyone at 6:45am for our 9:15am flight at a specific point in the airport.
Come the day and I was up at 3am to shower and eat before setting off to the airport. I arrived at around 6:30am and to my horror there were no teammates or coaches.
I start panicking about where they were when it reached 7am so we got to 7:30 and I was really panicking so I rang my coach. No answer. I rang him again, No answer. I ring him one final time at 7:45 he blearily answers. I explain to him my panic demanding to know where the hell he was. He angrily informs me that the flight isn't until the next day......I'd only gone and got the wrong bloody date in all my excitement.
My dad was annoyed at having to pick me up again. We made arrangements to meet up at 6:45am the next (correct) day.............I was 10 minutes late!
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Post by gazz on May 9, 2014 12:30:59 GMT
That's an excellent one that, Fudgie.
@ ars: My winner again so far, that is a belter!
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Post by Epworth Hatter OLD account on May 9, 2014 14:21:34 GMT
Excellent ars. At this rate we will be renaming the book: Cha-ars (pronounced kay-ars - like how a west country farmer would say chaos)
Hmmmm, maybe my attempt at a verbal joke doesn't quite work in writing! If you have to explain them...
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Post by gazz on May 9, 2014 15:50:38 GMT
Excellent ars. At this rate we will be renaming the book: Cha-ars (pronounced kay-ars - like how a west country farmer would say chaos) Hmmmm, maybe my attempt at a verbal joke doesn't quite work in writing! If you have to explain them... Cha-ars... brilliant!  |
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Post by another_ruined_saturday on May 9, 2014 23:21:32 GMT
it's a good 'un that, epworth. i have a slight feeling that i may have prematurely ejaculated all over the first few letters of the alphabet, and that i should have hung on for plainmoor or underhill. thanks though gents! the volvo 440 was never the same!
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