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Post by sandbachhatter on Dec 14, 2015 10:11:29 GMT
Morning!
Eppy is your host again this week, so over to the man himself....
Queen
The band, not our Betty at Buck Palace.
Here’s my beef with Queen: they are an average rock band who have been given some sort of super-star status. I’m not sure how they have acquired this position, as when you examine them objectively they are comparable with bands like Status Quo, who, last time I checked, are seen more as a comedy band – notwithstanding some of their early psychedelic stuff.
I’m not denying they have some talent, but one of the best rock bands of all time? Get real. Lyrically and musically they are completely average.
Let me prove my point with People’s Exhibit A:
We are the champions.
We are the champions.
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions of the world.
Song writing does not get much blander than that. If Francis Rossi had written that, it would be laughed at. Equally, if Freddie Mercury had sung ‘Rockin’ all over the World’, someone would have made a rock opera out of it.
And Bohemian Rhapsody is pretentious nonsense.
They have an aura of brilliance which is totally unjustified by the facts. The most over-rated band in the history of rock and I’d happily inflict them on the other inhabitants of the CHIVE vault.
Quiddich-loving adults
H and P has come and gone without mention of Potter, so I’m getting it in through the backdoor. Although, I should be more specific in my rant. I have nothing against Harry Potter and JK Rowling. She has done an amazing job in getting young people to put down their console controllers and read – a more noble act there is hard to find.
What I hated was when adults decided to jump on the band wagon and thought it ‘cool’ to be seen reading the books, not to children, but on their own. What that spawned was a sad ‘in crowd’ who knew all the characters and words in this invented world. The smug grin as they pronounce ‘experi-arse-is’ and see who reacts winds me right up. Grow up you sad, sad people.
Queue Jumpers
I’m not sure where to start with this one, and I’m also fearful I won’t be able to stop!
Ever since King John went on a trip to Runnymede for a Magnum Classic just after an early lunch (1215 to be precise), and returned with the cornerstone of the British constitution, that persists today, everyone is subject to the law. There are no exceptions, despite wealth, status or perceived sense of self-importance.
And one of the fundamental laws of this green and pleasant land, albeit unwritten, is queuing. Queuing is a part of British culture. We all know where we stand (pun intended) with queuing. It is based upon a simple principle of first come, first served. It has an inherent fairness to it that is understood by everyone from childhood. We all have an inbuilt sense of justice - of right and wrong - and it affects us when we see this out of balance; an injustice.
We may not be important and may feel insignificant in the world. We may not be in a position of power and we may not have much control over what is happening around us. We may feel repressed by the political elite who screw us over on a daily basis, but, there is one thing we can all do: We. Can. Arrive. Early. Queuing is one of the few things that we do all have control over.
Whether it be people at Wimbledon queuing days to see Carnt-hit-it-ova vs. Never-won-a-game-ic on Court 117, or the slightly unhinged getting up at 4am to wait for Next to open the doors to their sale, or fans simply waiting to get ticket to a football match (a-hem), we all accept this is the way of the world. It keeps peace and order on our streets.
Without people following the accepted social rules of queuing there would be, without exaggeration, utter chaos. But, good people of County Heaven, we are anarchy-free in the UK – because of queuing.
And then there are the queue-jumpers: the tw##s* who want to undo 800 years of British history and tradition. They demonstrate a selfishness that threatens the very basis of our society. For such a thoughtless disregard for other people, they should be banished. They know exactly what is going on. They brazenly waltz past good people who they know have earned their right to be where they are in the queue.
And they know that no-one will do anything about it, because another fundamental law of Britain is: Avoid Confrontation At All Costs. Nobody will say anything as this law is more powerful than the queue law. Some time ago (probably just after 1215) these two laws clearly had a mighty cosmic battle. And ‘silently muttering under your breath’ won over ‘patiently waiting your turn’. And nothing is going to change it (unless we merge with Holland). So there is only one thing for it: the queue-jumpers have got to go.
But before this ‘tw## of queue jumpers’ go, they should be made to play Quidditch. With the winning team allowed to queue first. For a Queen concert. And then we let nature take its course. I’ll make sure I arrive early to be near the front of the queue to toss their beaten bodies into the CHIVE vault. tw##s.
*‘tw##’, I believe, is the accepted collective noun for a group of queue-jumpers
So, get voting. Come on, what are you waiting for? Oh, right. Hang on, who was here first…?
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Post by sandbachhatter on Dec 14, 2015 10:11:52 GMT
Much as I hate Queen with a passion, it's got to be queue-jumpers for me.
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Post by countyfan on Dec 14, 2015 10:47:19 GMT
I've never seen any of the Harry Potter films so have no idea what Quiddich is? Thought it might be something about using a pound coin to scratch a part of your back you just cant reach??
My favourite comedian Craig Campbell (who's Canadian) did a piece on how Brits love a queue! he said that if there 2 tills open in a shop and one has 2 people in a queue and the other has 15 our initial thought is "hey there's a queue, I better get in it"! And sometimes we like to queue even if we aren't buying anything just so we get our queue fix!! haha. I've seen queuing in a different light since then so cant go for that.
So it has to be Queen for me, never liked them and thought their own ego was bigger than the actual band!! Overhyped rubbish that I change the radio station over whenever they try to come out of my speakers!!!
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Post by archie on Dec 14, 2015 10:58:08 GMT
I've never seen any of the Harry Potter films so have no idea what Quiddich is? Me neither. Agree with Sandy about Queen but I'm usually within reach of the 'Off' button so they can stay. Queue jumpers it has to be with an especially hard send-off for queue jumpers in a pub.
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Post by hatter_in_macc on Dec 14, 2015 11:15:26 GMT
Don't much care for Queen - but the band has, in fairness, given us the likes of Another One Bites the Dust, Crazy Little Thing Called Love, Good Old-fashioned Lover Boy and Now I'm Here. Oh - and C.H.U.M.S. fave, You're My Best Friend. That's enough for a half-decent EP.
I read the Harry Potter books to my kids - but any in-depth knowledge or appreciation of the characters and Quidditch passed me by, given that my sole intention was to get the little Maccs off to sleep!
So, Queue-jumping for me, please. Another symptom of society's selfish side. Mind you, a few of the EP ticket-office 'jumpers' may already be languishing in the C.H.I.V.E. dungeon while masquerading as 'ITK-ers'!
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Post by sandbachhatter on Dec 14, 2015 12:18:49 GMT
So, Queue-jumping for me, please. Another symptom of society's selfish side. Mind you, a few of the EP ticket-office 'jumpers' may already be languishing in the C.H.I.V.E. dungeon while masquerading as 'ITK-ers'!
Hmmm, perhaps they should do the honourable thing and 'Stand Up and Be County'd'?!
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Post by gazz on Dec 14, 2015 15:46:48 GMT
I like Queen, don't like 'Rhapsody', and think Brian May is a tw##.
I don't really watch the later Potter movies, but I thought the early ones were ok enough.
The queue-jumpers have it for me, I loathe them, particularly those F**KING chancers who don't get in lane when there are roadworks ahead. Instead speeding past every law-abiding driver who HAS got in lane and taking their chances on one of them being mug enough to let them in further up.
They are utter *****, and I banish them to the vault.
Great rant, Eps, I was with you all the way on that one!
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Post by gazz on Dec 14, 2015 15:50:20 GMT
So, Queue-jumping for me, please. Another symptom of society's selfish side. Mind you, a few of the EP ticket-office 'jumpers' may already be languishing in the C.H.I.V.E. dungeon while masquerading as 'ITK-ers'!
Hmmm, perhaps they should do the honourable thing and 'Stand Up and Be County'd'?!
Now there is a serious tw##!
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Post by sandbachhatter on Dec 14, 2015 16:20:23 GMT
Ooh, yes, I was all for agreeing with Archie's 'queue-jumpers in the pub are the worst' claim before, but now I've been reminded of these scumbags, I'm changing my opinion. People who cut past a queue of traffic and cut in are the lowest of the low and should be banished to the depths of hell.
You may already know this, but there's a roundabout at the end of the A34 in Alderley Edge which you can either take the left hand lane to turn left (to go through Alderley Edge) or straight on (towards Nether Alderley), or you can take the right hand lane to turn right towards Wilmslow. Because the left hand lane gets busy, you invariably get BMWs and Audis screaming down the right hand lane, with no intention of turning right, and then cutting someone up at the roundabout.
Such an incident occurred the other day, and even though I tend to go left in the left hand lane, I'd been queuing for a while and I could see this clown flying down the right hand lane, so I decided to go straight on. We got onto the roundabout at the same time, and so he was stuck in the right hand lane and had to slam his brakes on to cut in behind me instead.
Despite him being in the wrong, I then had around five miles of tailgating and abuse behind me as a result.
Utter f**kbag.
God I'm angry just remembering it now.
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Post by countyfan on Dec 14, 2015 16:26:15 GMT
The queue-jumpers have it for me, I loathe them, particularly those F**KING chancers who don't get in lane when there are roadworks ahead. Instead speeding past every law-abiding driver who HAS got in lane and taking their chances on one of them being mug enough to let them in further up. I am one of those people Gazza! But in my defence it's not breaking the law, The put signs up saying the lane will be closed in 800, 600, 400 and 200 yards before the cones actually close that lane off, Therefore it is actually open until the cones so driving up to them is permitted. If people would rather choose to sit in a lane 1 mile before it becomes the only open lane then good on them but I pay my road tax to drive on open roads so until you cannot physical drive down that lane it's an open road to me.
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Post by gazz on Dec 14, 2015 17:11:09 GMT
The queue-jumpers have it for me, I loathe them, particularly those F**KING chancers who don't get in lane when there are roadworks ahead. Instead speeding past every law-abiding driver who HAS got in lane and taking their chances on one of them being mug enough to let them in further up. I am one of those people Gazza! But in my defence it's not breaking the law, The put signs up saying the lane will be closed in 800, 600, 400 and 200 yards before the cones actually close that lane off, Therefore it is actually open until the cones so driving up to them is permitted. If people would rather choose to sit in a lane 1 mile before it becomes the only open lane then good on them but I pay my road tax to drive on open roads so until you cannot physical drive down that lane it's an open road to me. No excuse! Holding a door open for your fellow man is not law, but it's still incredibly ignorant not to. Get in the vault! Seriously though, the majority get in lane 100s of yards earlier, yet you think it's ok to keep steaming down the fast lane to the end, then push in ahead of all those who got in 100s of yards back? Also, that 800, 600, 400 etc is there to give everyone time to get in lane before the end, not to steam past everyone else because you can't be bothered driving slowly for a few extra hundred yards! Sorry, matey, we're going to have to disagree on this one.
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Post by countyfan on Dec 14, 2015 17:18:30 GMT
Yeah I can agree to disagree with you on this one sir, Not falling out with a fellow Heavener over it thats for sure.
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Post by gazz on Dec 14, 2015 17:25:06 GMT
Yeah I can agree to disagree with you on this one sir, Not falling out with a fellow Heavener over it thats for sure. Definitely not, it's what the forum is all about, mate. If we agreed on everything, this place would be like a day at the Flanders' house!
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Post by ceefer on Dec 14, 2015 18:05:50 GMT
Some good chocies there Eppy.
Queen - never went to a concert, but it would have been a good show. Love the guitar sound and definately different from the others bands of the time.
Quidditch lovers - HP books and getting adults as well as kids reading can ponly be a good thing... I go into some peoples houses and they dont even have a book case...and some kids and some adults have never even been in a library or now what one is... yes I realise some councils are closing them but really....
Queue jumpers (second only to middle lane 'drivers')...scourge of the earth, especially those that jumped the q for the FCUM tickets at EP earlier on this season.
So my vote goes to thew QJ's.
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Post by gazz on Dec 15, 2015 2:20:44 GMT
Not falling out with a fellow Heavener over it thats for sure. I think I could have shown a tad more diplomacy with my response there, mate. Apologies.
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