Post by hatter_in_macc on Nov 14, 2015 19:24:26 GMT
Here is our piece for this afternoon's programme.
We might not have beaten the Lambs, but at least we didn't play like San Merino...
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Sandbach Hatter writes:
Good afternoon, and welcome to Edgeley Park for today’s match against the Lambs. With a nickname like that, you would think Maccy and I should have plenty of puns lined up, but we used most of them last season, so we’ll have to try and come up with something ewe-nique.
A few articles ago, I mentioned County Heaven’s latest A-Z compilation, C.H.I.V.E. (County Heaven’s Indexed Vault of Evil), which is our alphabetised list of the most hateful things in the world, as voted for by our members. We have now added ‘In The Know Merchants’ for Week I, the ‘Justice System’ for Week J, and a certain ‘Mr K’ last week (who, for legal reasons, I best not name, but suffice to say it’s not the famous violinist, Nigel).
Elsewhere, my latest quiz - which involves entrants taking part in a fantasy 5-a-side tournament - has reached the grand final, taking place next weekend. After a quarter-final replay between ‘Hyde Are Bad’ and ‘Sugar Sugar’, the latter progressed to the semi-finals where they went on a ram-page and gave ‘County Benno Blues’ a good bleating to make the final. In the other semi, ‘Not Ep-worth The Money’ narrowly beat ‘The Maccnificent Five’ by a single point, leaving Maccy feeling a little sheepish.
Right, that’s enough puns. I’d better hoof you over to my ram-bunctious co-contributor to see if he can do any better. Chop chop, Maccy!
Hatter in Macc writes:
Not sure... erm, wether I can, Sandy. Most of the good gags appear to have been (oh, hang on - wait for it...) ewes-tup!
Besides, I shall be saving my best lines for the post-match report tonight - depending if , by 5pm, we have managed to silence the Lambs, or, alternatively, offered ourselves up as sacrificial ones.
Which scenario might it turn out to be? Quite a difficult one to call, as it happens, given that the Hatters have rather a mixed record against Tamworth - although it goes without saying that this makes nowhere near as bad reading as our Chorley head-to-head statistics do!
The latter looked worse still after last Saturday’s defeat here by the Magpies, who, as a result, have claimed maximum points from all their contests with County since the end of a century. And, yep, we’re talking the nineteenth century...
Not, for one moment, mind, to suggest that this afternoon’s visitors will be anything but a tough proposition. They have lost just once in the League so far, and were victorious, without conceding, on each of their last two jaunts to EP.
And talking of trips, County’s next one will take us to the far, far East that is Lowestoft. Nearest motorway? In Holland. Better start packing for this once today’s final whistle goes!
Enjoy the game.
Animo et Fide.
www.countyheaven.com
Proud to be Fan Sponsors of Alan Lord for 2015/16
We might not have beaten the Lambs, but at least we didn't play like San Merino...
*****************************************************************************************************
Sandbach Hatter writes:
Good afternoon, and welcome to Edgeley Park for today’s match against the Lambs. With a nickname like that, you would think Maccy and I should have plenty of puns lined up, but we used most of them last season, so we’ll have to try and come up with something ewe-nique.
A few articles ago, I mentioned County Heaven’s latest A-Z compilation, C.H.I.V.E. (County Heaven’s Indexed Vault of Evil), which is our alphabetised list of the most hateful things in the world, as voted for by our members. We have now added ‘In The Know Merchants’ for Week I, the ‘Justice System’ for Week J, and a certain ‘Mr K’ last week (who, for legal reasons, I best not name, but suffice to say it’s not the famous violinist, Nigel).
Elsewhere, my latest quiz - which involves entrants taking part in a fantasy 5-a-side tournament - has reached the grand final, taking place next weekend. After a quarter-final replay between ‘Hyde Are Bad’ and ‘Sugar Sugar’, the latter progressed to the semi-finals where they went on a ram-page and gave ‘County Benno Blues’ a good bleating to make the final. In the other semi, ‘Not Ep-worth The Money’ narrowly beat ‘The Maccnificent Five’ by a single point, leaving Maccy feeling a little sheepish.
Right, that’s enough puns. I’d better hoof you over to my ram-bunctious co-contributor to see if he can do any better. Chop chop, Maccy!
Hatter in Macc writes:
Not sure... erm, wether I can, Sandy. Most of the good gags appear to have been (oh, hang on - wait for it...) ewes-tup!
Besides, I shall be saving my best lines for the post-match report tonight - depending if , by 5pm, we have managed to silence the Lambs, or, alternatively, offered ourselves up as sacrificial ones.
Which scenario might it turn out to be? Quite a difficult one to call, as it happens, given that the Hatters have rather a mixed record against Tamworth - although it goes without saying that this makes nowhere near as bad reading as our Chorley head-to-head statistics do!
The latter looked worse still after last Saturday’s defeat here by the Magpies, who, as a result, have claimed maximum points from all their contests with County since the end of a century. And, yep, we’re talking the nineteenth century...
Not, for one moment, mind, to suggest that this afternoon’s visitors will be anything but a tough proposition. They have lost just once in the League so far, and were victorious, without conceding, on each of their last two jaunts to EP.
And talking of trips, County’s next one will take us to the far, far East that is Lowestoft. Nearest motorway? In Holland. Better start packing for this once today’s final whistle goes!
Enjoy the game.
Animo et Fide.
www.countyheaven.com
Proud to be Fan Sponsors of Alan Lord for 2015/16
