Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2019 12:14:49 GMT
Doctor doctor, I feel like a supermarket.
How long have you felt this way?
Since I was Lidl.
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Post by hatter_in_macc on Sept 14, 2019 17:57:15 GMT
That Asda be Joke of the Year! Arf.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Sept 23, 2019 21:10:22 GMT
BREAKING NEWS.
Thomas Cook have announced that Manchester United's Champions League travel arrangements remain unaffected for the 2019/20 season.
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Post by another_ruined_saturday on Sept 24, 2019 18:32:38 GMT
excellent downy.
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Post by Epworth Hatter on Oct 2, 2019 5:04:00 GMT
If I were Hank Williams and I joined twitter I'd have "Son of a gun. We'll have big fun" on the bio.
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Post by Epworth Hatter on Oct 5, 2019 21:14:16 GMT
It’s a 4 minute walk from my house to the pub. It’s a 45 minute walk from the pub to my house. The difference is staggering.
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Post by Epworth Hatter on Oct 15, 2019 19:45:59 GMT
A Scotsman walks in to an empty bar... because the Englishman, Irishman and Welshman are all still in Japan!
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Bar Jokes
Oct 15, 2019 22:01:05 GMT
via mobile
Post by gazz on Oct 15, 2019 22:01:05 GMT
A Scotsman walks in to an empty bar... because the Englishman, Irishman and Welshman are all still in Japan!
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Post by sandbachhatter on Oct 17, 2019 10:38:01 GMT
A man approaches a pretty lady in a bar.
"Excuse me, but would you be willing to spend the night with me for a million pounds?"
She looks him up and down and says "Yeah, go on then."
He then asks her "Ok, would you be willing to spend the night with me for £50?"
She slaps him around the face and shouts "No! What kind of woman do you think I am?!"
"Oh, we've already established what kind of woman you are, now we're just haggling over the price."
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Oct 24, 2019 2:39:26 GMT
Sad, sad people letting fireworks off in October.
One scared the cat so bad it ran up the Christmas tree.
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Post by another_ruined_saturday on Oct 24, 2019 19:16:30 GMT
did a klaxon go off for them or something? tonight's the first night i've heard them and then this joke's there waiting...
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Post by Epworth Hatter on Oct 26, 2019 12:05:05 GMT
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Post by gazz on Oct 26, 2019 12:08:23 GMT
That's brilliant!
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Bar Jokes
Oct 29, 2019 6:01:32 GMT
via mobile
Post by Epworth Hatter on Oct 29, 2019 6:01:32 GMT
Walkie talkie love triangle:
Roger, it's Eva - it's over. Roger.
Roger that Eva. Why over? Over.
I'm rogering Ivor Roger. Over.
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Post by bringbacklenwhite on Nov 2, 2019 18:35:32 GMT
The statue on the the top of Nelson's column is 15 feet tall.
That's Horatio of 3:1.
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