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Post by bringbacklenwhite on Jul 23, 2014 19:22:21 GMT
Merhaba, Moni, Moin, Mono, Muraho, Manao ahoana and Mogethin to you all. Hello and welcome to Week M of Chaos 2.
Memorable and mighty missives of mountainous mayhem maintaining magic maelstroms in a magazine of madness, machinations and mirth.
Yes, we have reached half-way through the alphabet. The bar has been set high and ARS will judge this week's Mantle of Brilliance receivee.
All yours:-
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Post by sandbachhatter on Jul 24, 2014 13:53:17 GMT
Middlesbrough - 1997 Football League Cup Semi-Final
The following has been lovingly lifted and adapted from an article I did a couple of years ago for The Illustrated Game website....
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County's reward for beating Southampton in the quarter-finals of the 1997 Football league Cup was, I am sure we all remember, a semi-final tie against Middlesbrough.
Middlesbrough had done everyone a favour by taking the last ‘big’ team out of the competition having beaten Liverpool, so the final four were made up of ourselves, Boro, Leicester and Wimbledon. County fans could be excused, therefore, for starting to wonder whether a third-tier club might actually go on to lift the trophy that season.
The first leg of the tie took place, of course, at EP. I managed to get tickets for myself and 17 mates who had suddenly become County fans overnight (most of them aren’t in touch anymore funnily enough – “Come on lads, who fancies North Ferriby away?... Hello?”) and the noise reached crescendo as the teams ran out.
The key in the first leg was not to lose. A win would be fantastic but even a draw would give us some slim hope going back to the Riverside. Sadly, whilst a 0-0 draw looked to be on the cards as the second half minutes ebbed away, Mikkel Beck and Fabrizio Ravenelli scored in the 73rd and 79th minutes respectively to all but end County’s dream of reaching the final.
Just a week later, on 12th March 1997, County had the unenviable task of travelling to the Riverside Stadium. We weren’t going to overturn a two goal deficit to the team that had knocked Liverpool out so we just wanted to keep it respectable.
The match was again televised on Granada but, unfortunately for me, I had stupidly agreed to do the lighting for the school’s production of Cabaret that night and so I was to be on top of a thirty foot gantry in the school hall operating a spotlight while my beloved County were battling away in the North East. Thankfully, I managed to borrow a portable TV from a friend and so there I was, huddled atop my scaffolding, squinting at the crappest portable TV in history (this was the late 90’s don’t forget) ready for County to go into battle while show- tunes blasted out below me. I got confused at one point and wondered why the teams were running out to “Willkommen, Bienvenue, Welcome”. I assumed 'Boro' had gone all camp.
You can no doubt imagine what happened when, in just the 6th minute, 002 Sean Connelly scored one of only a handful of goals in his 302 appearances for County. I went completely, yet silently, bat-sh*t crazy.
I was approached in the interval (which happily coincided with half-time) by my Economics teacher who had guessed that County might have scored since, apparently, the audience had been subjected to my spotlight darting erratically around the stage as I silently bounced up and down on the scaffolding like a lunatic. Most saw the funny side, with the exception of my English teacher who was directing the play and promptly gave me a b*ll*cking the next day.
Sadly, the story has no dream ending as, whilst County valiantly hung on to claim a 1-0 victory on the night, our search for a second goal was in vain and we were defeated 2-1 on aggregate, leaving the competition but with our heads held high.
Middlesbrough went on to lose to Leicester in the final so there was some consolation to be had and, despite our remarkable cup run taking the season to an incredible 67 games, resulting in a series of frantic midweek matches to catch up in the league, we were promoted automatically as runners-up after again beating Chesterfield away. A season I’ll never forget.
Oh, and I still know all the songs to Cabaret.
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Post by Epworth Hatter on Jul 24, 2014 16:50:08 GMT
McDonalds – an incident
It was a lovely Saturday and we had a cup game against Ashton Second XI. It was in the Greater Manchester League Cup and was an early round against their second team (who were in the league below us)
It was away at Ashton and was a typical so called David vs. Goliath encounter. We absolutely mullered them for 75 minutes, only managing be 1-0 after an early goal. And then a lucky bobble here, a fluky deflection there - they equalised with only 5 minutes left.
The other way in which it was a typical cup match was the way they decided to approach a game against a team who were faster, fitter and more skilful. Yep, they beat the living day lights out of us. They were the dirtiest team I have ever played, using every trick in the book.
The equaliser meant 30 minutes more of a battering. We ended up winning 4-1, which was good for us. What was also good for us was that the extra time gave us a good excuse not to go back to their club house for a drink, as it was ‘getting late’. A lame excuse, but nobody fancied socialising with the savages.
So, we set off nursing our cuts and bruises, but happy to have got the win. Such was our desire to get out of there we still had on our hockey kit and shin pads. We threw our sticks into the back well, and headed home. There were four of us in the car – Me, Kev, Mike and Andy. We were (and still are!) over 6 foot tall, so fitting into Andy’s Mum’s Nissan Micra was a bit of a challenge.
And then we hit traffic – bad traffic. There had been an accident and the road closed, so it was bedlam. It took us ages to get back to civilisation, and by that time we were starving.
We all wanted something to eat, preferably something that tasted good. So we parked up in a McDonalds… ate some fruit we had in the car… and then walked into McD’s for some food. (Ba-dum tish)
We had our burgers and chips and, returned to the car. The sun was going down, so it was dusk. It had been a long day and we just wanted to get home. We hadn’t been going long when we came across a group of lads wondering around in the middle of the road. There were six of them and they all looked about 15 years old.
Andy beeped his horn for them move. Their response was to give the finger and stay where they were. Andy was not impressed, so he over-revved, accelerated and swerved around them. Suffice to say they weren’t impressed.
The immediately started to chase after the car, shouting a swearing at us. And then the oddest thing happened. It was like we all had a telepathic experience. I was in the front seat and turned to the others and said, ‘Shall we?’ A grin came across everyone’s faces and Andy hit the brakes. We literally screeched to a halt in the middle of the road. Simultaneously all 4 of us opened the doors, leapt out and ran towards them, wielding hockey sticks, screaming at the top of our voices like wild banshees.
The look in these lad’s faces was a picture. They stopped dead in their tracks, turned and fled as fast as they could. All we heard as they disappeared around the corner was, ‘fuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…..’
As soon as they were out of sight we stopped, gave a sage nod as if to say, ‘job done’, and then calmly walked back to the car. We got in and drove off. We had been going about 5 seconds in silence and then simultaneously burst out laughing.
A most entertaining end to long old day.
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Post by bigfudge on Jul 24, 2014 17:00:24 GMT
My Way
A timeless song by Sinatra. Also the favourite song of Danny Bergara.
It's safe to say that aside from being his favourite song. It's also a phrase that could be used to describe the way he managed County.
He brought Latin flair and combined it with the timeless English style. He took a chance on players that raised eyebrows. He took County to Promotion and Wembley 4 times after being perennial laughing stocks. He truly revolutionised the way Stockport County were perceived, we were taken seriously after being put on the map.
Whilst Danny left under a bit of a cloud there is no doubt that he changed our club from top to bottom. Much loved even today at Edgeley Park, unfortunately he passed in 2007 and was rightly remembered by having a rendition of 'My Way' played.
Fitting because I'm sure if you asked Danny what he thought of his time at County, I'm sure he'd say 'I did it My Way'.
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Post by bringbacklenwhite on Jul 29, 2014 15:10:23 GMT
Morris 1000 Traveller
Sports Story you may ask ?
In a way, yes, as if it hadn't been for Maurice the Moggie many young children in Coventry would never have experienced organised sport away from "home" at the city centre school where I taught in. One in the passenger seat, 4 on the rear bench (no seat belts in the back) and two sitting in the back compartment. Half a football team, a full netball squad or rounders side (before health and safety kicked in) all transported to other schools for competitive matches. We had no home pitches being completely surrounded by terraced housing.
Maurice was a typical half-timbered, British racing green (32 shades of) beast. 0-60 in 3 hours and 50 miles to the gallon (oil that is). The wood was mainly plastic filler, the brakes included an anchor to throw out of the back and the rear-door locking device was a mini-screwdriver thrust through a drilled hole in the mechanism.
Oh how we laughed on the way back after another good thrashing by the opposition. The school was extremely multi-cultural and the children had very little cultural/family experience of organised sport but their enthusiasm was second to none. Perhaps we should have played Kabadi or that polo game with a dead goat.
After one game against another similar school to ours which we had WON !! 2-1 the team spontaneously performed a lap of honour. Sadly, this did not have much effect on the crowd (two old ladies walking their dogs and a gentleman with a shopping trolley) in the local park very close to Coventry City's Highfield Road. "What ARE they doing ?" inquired the opposition member of staff.
I told him that they were thrilled to have won their first ever match in the last game of the season. To which he replied "Well they shouldn't get too excited, that's the first goal we've scored this year".
Happy times.
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Post by another_ruined_saturday on Jul 29, 2014 16:49:44 GMT
great stories, all four of them.
sandy, can you guess who sean connelly's next rare goal was against? you may have been at EP for it, so you can probably do more than guess...middlesbrough again of course! a header from the edge of the area, no less.
we had a bit of a goal mental when sean scored in the second leg up at the riverside; but it was down the other end and even though it was early, juninho had already clipped our woodwork. the real moment was in the second half, when it all opened up for luis cavaco on the edge of the area and was our big, big chance. unfortunately, while it wasn't an awful shot, it didn't have enough in power or positioning, and mark schwarzer saved. that would really have put the cat among the pigeons; particularly, as it transpired later, because they were already selling 'wembley' shirts before the game! we knew we were on the way out when fabrizio ravanelli conned the ref into sending tony dinning off late on, but it was still a proud night.
eps, your mcdonalds story is better than mine (see below). i bet their faces were priceless.
fudge - that one's short but very sweet. we should probably aim to get danny in under every letter!
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Post by sirroger on Jul 29, 2014 16:59:54 GMT
The Mighty M's
Ken Mulhearn
Johnny Mullins
Trevor Matthewson
Martin McIntosh
Jim McNulty
Leon McSweeney
Chris Marsden
Ian Moore
Andy Mutch
Sammy McMillan
Steve Massey*
*Steve was included at the expense of Bob Murray, leaving a midfield two, basically because Massey remains one of my favourite players. Sorry to Bob, who almost managed to increase his impressive appearance record for the Club by a further one.
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Post by gazz on Jul 29, 2014 17:06:33 GMT
Never really cared for 'Boro, but when Robson was given all that money to chuck around I just found them to be a horrible side, and Ravanelli and those Wembley shirts epitomised that. It wasn't just then that they were disrespecting us either, I remember the Semi-Final draw on TV. Craig Hignett was talking to the guys in the studio and pretty much assuming they were going to Wembley when he heard that they had drawn us. Tosser.
I can't knock Steve Gibson for his dedication to his club, but I just found them irritating during that big money spell.
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Post by another_ruined_saturday on Jul 29, 2014 17:19:21 GMT
mcdonalds II - the shame
i've told this one before...
county were due to play southampton at EP in the afternoon. i was up far earlier than i am on saturday mornings nowadays, and thought i'd nip to the mcdonalds five minutes up the ring road from me in my car to get some delicious, nutritional breakfast. as i was only going to be availing myself of the drive through, i put on an old, holey pair of electric blue world cup '98 adidas shorts - just as fetching as you imagine - and my slippers, as well as an old sweatshirt. no shame, afterall, when the world will only see my top half.
i got to one car behind the window, and when he got his order and pulled away, my car died and wouldn't re-start. suddenly aware of my shorty slipperiness, i took up religion and began to pray. unfortunately my car was a faithless swine, or god moved in ways guaranteed to cause embarrassment. by now the mcdonalds girl was leaning a bit out of the window to see what had happened to her queue. it was there alright, it was just that the drive through was one car wide so various other impatient gastronomes were parked, frustrated, behind me. i had to tell her that my car wouldn't move and after a little while a couple of members of staff came out of the side door and pushed me out of the drive through into the car park with me steering. so far, so mortifying.
now i've always been a member of one of the breakdown services, so i knew i could ring britannia and they'd probably have somebody out in half or three quarters of an hour. i then realised that since i had only been popping out of the house to do some damage to my cholesterol levels, i hadn't bothered to bring my 'phone. after summoning up the mental strength for quite some time, i exited the car, walked across the car park and into mcdonalds. a group of young women were coming out past me, staring and smirking. i heard a 'what the f***?', and a 'scruffy kn*bhead' which made me feel much, much better. i had to use a 'phone that mcdonalds generously provided and felt lots of eyes on me, wondering if i was a dangerous escapee or had just wandered off from particularly inattentive daycare.
call made, i went back to the car to lick my wounds and wait. it felt like an age before the breakdown truck (fully staffed by a fella and his wife who was along for the saturday morning ride) arrived. in the interim, a mcdonalds employee, no doubt aware that i had taken advantage of their pushing power and their 'phone for free, knocked on my window and asked if i wanted to order anything. by then, i was feeling far too sorry for myself and declined.
i was out of the car again while the breakdown fella tried (unsuccessfully) to figure out what was wrong it. some bloke in a van cheerily shouted 'shoulda bought a van, mate', to me; clearly proud of his own method of transport. i had to be towed home, and got back two hours after i set off on a short mission, having had no breakfast and with a non-starting car to boot. i was supposed to be taking grandee (see CHAOS week 'L') to the game as well, but that was now also a non-starter. fortunately one quick phone call later and my dad had volunteered to take him to the game, which finished 1-1 with their goal scored (i think) by adam lallana. whatever happened to him?
morale of the story? don't be tempted into having a mcdonalds breakfast. if you do, don't wear your holey electric blue shorts and slippers. don't trust your car. if you do, at least remember to take your 'phone with you...
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Post by another_ruined_saturday on Jul 29, 2014 17:40:35 GMT
i was thinking about covering a trip to MKdonalds - either the one where john hardiker got sent off and we lost; the one on a tuesday night in december in that exposed F1 style stand at the old stadium in a force ten gale where we had two (including ash williams) sent off, and we lost to two izale mccloud beauties; the drubbing we got at the new ground on new year's day; or the gold shirted victory, where they absolutely pummelled us for most of the game, but the lucky shirts got us home and hosed with dicko setting up anthony pilkington right in front of us in injury time for 2-0 and definite victory.........but after the drive-through trauma above, i don't know that i have the strength.
...oh while i'm at it though, on the december tuesday one, three of us had gone down in my car. we had parked up at the national hockey stadium a couple of hours before kick off, because...well what exactly are you going to do in milton keynes? we'd already played the counting roundabouts game... we thought we'd buy our match tickets, and walked round the ground trying to find the ticket office. it had been raining most of the day and we reached a bit where one of the stands backed directly onto a sloped grassy area with a few trees dotted in it and no path. if we could just cross the thirty yards or so the ticket office would surely be around the corner. to cut a long story short, it was muddy, it was a slope, and my trainered feet started to slide in two different directions, like something out of a harold lloyd short, only not involving hanging off the hour hand of a clock tower... it was a fairly slow thing, but once it had started, it gained an irresistible momentum, and i comprehensively failed to address the slide. obviously i ended up in the mud. my mate asked 'what the f*** are you doing', which seemed a little churlish, and my brother was doubled over laughing, occasionally sucking in some air...but mainly laughing.
the stadium had a typical soulless edge of town shopping/entertainment complex at one side of it. i distinctly remember trying to wash a lot of mud off my hands (and then using them to try and scrape mud off the knees of my jeans) in the gents in a burger king, and instead of a sink, it had those stupid pods that you have to put your hands inside and which dribble a feeble amount of water which is barely enough to get them wet, nevermind deal with a hard day's falling in the mud. after that, we skulked about in a Borders for a bit, sat in a high wind in exposed seats, lost the match and left early, only hearing that we'd been reduced to nine men as we were making our way back to the car.
another joyous day in my county history, but at least my brother enjoyed about thirty seconds of it...
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Post by bringbacklenwhite on Jul 29, 2014 21:07:41 GMT
Perhaps you can box this one off ARS. Please chose the Mantle of Brilliance recipient whenever you are ready.
I will kick off week N tomorrow.
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Post by another_ruined_saturday on Jul 29, 2014 22:23:07 GMT
ok. just for the 'hockey warriors' imagery, eps just sneaks it this week over sandy and fudge, although lennie's morris traveller and rog's majestic mighty maccnificent m's were also close. CHAOS - it's the gold standard.
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Post by gazz on Jul 29, 2014 22:38:04 GMT
Tough decision to make there, ars, but I think you've just about got that one right.
Superb quality from everyone, congrats to Eps!
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Post by bigfudge on Jul 29, 2014 22:54:39 GMT
Congrats eps! Well decided!
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Post by bringbacklenwhite on Jul 30, 2014 8:18:20 GMT
a worthy winner Eppy, well done.
Week N coming this afternoon.
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